It’s happening. Inside definitely expansion and expansion and outside….

I hope, I think I sense…that a critical mass of people are awakening.

I was with my happy friends G and M last night and we had such fun. Not only was the food wonderful as usual and much enjoyed, what amazing conversations we had full of openness and depth and exploring and humour and laughter and savouring successes and sitting in the wonder of life. The kind of interaction that enriches all. As well as day to day chit chat too which I enjoy. I love that, when the whole range can be roamed about within.

This is what our natural state is like when fear isn’t holding it back, and when people have learned to like and love themselves and can sit in their own skin comfortably. Relatively speaking….it’s a process of constant expansion and discovery.

I see that my inner change is being reflected outside in my interactions. The outside magically morphs according to the inner state. This is the working hypothesis anyway. And is there any actual outside anyway….doubt it. I am you you are me….

How far does it go, that our inner state determines the state of others? Maybe just those sensitive enough to allow what love we have to share? That don’t block?

How choosy to be about our company. Is it okay just to say no thanks for now to those lost in negative states. I think so. It feels like an act of kindness to myself to choose to avoid the openly malcontent.

I have spent so much time around angry grumpy complaining folks, jealous critical hostile insecure competitive ones.

I was just reading an academic paper this morning showing that people can actually smell fear from others and become more fearful as a result of being near them. The fear is communicated through the sweat.

Arrived at U’s house yesterday to find my mum there, who was visibly annoyed I was visited U when I don’t visit her so much (because she is critical, judgmental, complaining, negative). I mention the uncle was in touch more often these days. Her reaction…..jealousy. This is not someone I enjoy being around at all. The other day she told me I had no social conscience. I disagreed, ‘what about all the therapy clients I have?’. ‘That doesn’t count as you are paid for it’. So that perhaps explains why I hardly ever visit her. I don’t actually like her. But what about duty. Families looking after each other. Dunno.

More to the point though what of my own pettiness, anger judgmental ness, competitiveness, criticalness. This has been on my mind and deserves an entry of its own. It’s time for some shadow work, woo hoo!

A few night shots from the other day.

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