Ruffled up a Bit

Bit ruffled up inside again this morning. Though I started the day on awakening in bed with a hand on my chest “I’m here for you, I love you, you’re supported”, from me to me. And it’s a beautiful way to start the day, I highly recommend it.

Then I was almost getting pulled into anxiety about paying the guys and not having enough money as I have a tax bill too on Friday when I noticed and said “shhhhh” to the mind, and caught it before it spiralled into analyses and possible anxiety. It’s okay, and it will be okay.

Then a call came from one of the men to say someone has driven into my van. Nobody hurt. Now an insurance situation and repairs to organise. And they weren’t even using it to work for me, as we are closed due to this big freeze.

There my head goes again, with its bla bla bla haha

I drop into my body to allow and notice the anxiety generated. Some is there. Hello anxiety.

Is life telling me it’s time to leave all this, the vehicles, insurance, and construction and employees and that type of responsibility behind?

What sort of inner bandwidth would that free up to do other more creative things? Not having that constant responsibility. I can hardly even imagine, I’m so used to it. Let’s see what the iChing says about that…….

……Well wow. An unmoving ‘Increase’.

Never forget that every blossoming may require a gusts and downpours. The hidden influence of Splitting Apart shows how the seedling must leave its protective husk to start its journey toward the light. Gestation is over and now it is time to rise.

And the Unchanging element says

This can be the classic message about the silver lining in any difficult situation. To balance the enthusiastic… may need to be more sensitive or patient about the object of your enquiry. When Wind and Thunder move in unison the power is unstoppable. Find a balance between enthusiasm and patience. Consider how abundance is fortified when it is shared with generosity to those below.

I think I’m in tune with that already, and it’s useful for any impatient parts of me to be reminded. There’s no rush.

That is a super iChing site btw, so wisely written

Let life unfold. It will show me the way, when to act, when not to act. Just be generous and loving and kind.

Today a counselling client on Zoom. Park walk cancelled since it’s minus 6! And then a whole day of freedom. Another one.

I didn’t have a particularly enjoyable walk with E yesterday, I take responsibility for that fully as I was processing out loud that which he didn’t really want to hear. How to put in boundaries with certain people and why I want to do that. It wasn’t the best tone and level of chat from me. And I love and forgive myself! This is all learning.

I do have a strong sense that having certain influences around me have a powerfully negative effect, and that for this deep inner work silence and solitude is more suited. Than chit chat and listening to the complaints and political views and anger with the husband and all that…. So tomorrow it’s a no to that usual meeting. A kindness to myself.

Remember to breath from low down

Say I love you I’m here for you, you are supported to yourself often

Notice the thoughts all the time, do not believe them, unhook

Use awareness of the body and the senses to return to the present when the mind wanders

Stretch now and then, hands and arms up to the sky and outwards

Notice beauty at every available opportunity

Notice what you have and savour it

Notice that you are safe

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