Slowly returning to myself. Managed some self kindness practices this morning before I got up. Hand on the chest, other … More
Tag: resistance
Still in Worry
This is what the iChing said to me earlier Transcending the entire situation = turning away to attend to higher … More
Negative Reactions
A beautiful time waking up in till I realised that I need to intervene with work not being done correctly … More
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Encounter with Resistance
Thrilled to be noticing how integrated my self talk has become recently. There is barely anything other than positive affirmative … More
Back to Love
Tired this morning, 4 hours sleep after staying up exceedingly late into the night watching series 5 of the Handmaiden’s … More
Handing over Objections
Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More
Pausing and Allowing
Saw an otter yesterday in the river just after I had a strong inner prompting to slow right down to … More
Shadow Work
Day started with one friend inviting me for breakfast at the local bar/restaurant. I didn’t enjoy it. There was a … More
Fearlessness Training
The kickback comes as a training exercise. Fearlessness is bathed in and then, anything fearful inside arises. The mere hint … More
Half Full/Half Empty
The half full perspective. It’s a beautiful sunny morning here. The men all have work and a job lined up … More
Testing testing !
Who am I when things don’t go my way?What happens when events I don’t want to happen just happen anyway?When … More
Emotions in the Body
I light a little tea candle and place it in front of me as a reminder to feel into the … More
Relationship with Mum
I will maybe explore this over a few days as it will be too long. First I’ll lay out the … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
Dissolving Identity
Everything I ever wanted is already here. I was just watching this video by Angelo DiLullo in bed this morning … More
Testing back into Unchanging Stillness
I have two clients to see this morning. It is always a great way to start the day, being useful. … More
Honesty Dose
I want to put these down before my ego, which doesn’t like remembering these kind of uncomfortable things, shuts it … More
Defending a Position
Day 4 of this headache! and feeling quite worn down and mostly want to lie down a lot. It has … More
“Stop being jerked like a puppet”. Marcus Aurelius
I watch myself being jerked like a puppet by events in my environment that my ego has decided ‘should’ not … More
Facing the Disturbing Stuff
Thought it’s about time I just allow the noises from upstairs to take place without putting music on every time … More
Monday Mornin’ Rain
Awoke not well rested, an odd sleep again full of vivid dreams. In one a friend had sacked their nanny … More
Just this Moment
The hum of the heating, the warmth on the skin, the weight of the body on the seat. I’m breathing … More
Day to day Life
May Day public holiday so the whole team is off. A beautiful atmosphere comes over the city on these public … More
Resistance and Suffering
Today a big rain arrived after weeks of dryness. It added exciting new sensory elements to walking up the river. … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Ebbs and Struggles
Third day of this migraine. Headache just humming away in the background. Not that sore but draining. Starts up again … More
Letting Go
I’m struggling today, migraine started yesterday and lying on the sofa now. Feeling low energy and mood. Can’t find anything … More
Actually doing it
Not only reading about it and watching YouTube videos about it….. Being here and now this. very. second. I am … More
Sunday Morning
The rest of the day yesterday was spent deeply absorbed in a spaciousness with very few self referential thoughts appearing. … More
Chat with an Enlightened Person
And they would say there is no person and all of us were never not enlightened. The Marc Leavitt conversations … More
Ego Games
Sunshine outside, and listening to Nisargadatta being read, and it is sublime. This one will be on repeat over and … More
Asking for Help
4 hours in the sunshine and birdsong at the allotment yesterday. Was good to do some physical work and have … More
Shadow work
Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More
Jumpy This Morning
Thursday. There’s a lot of this happening during this opening/awakening situation I’m in, disturbances and sufferings are way more noticeable … More
Strange World out There
Today. It’s 8am and I’m at the kitchen table, lovely long sleep as usual. Refreshed and ready for a brand … More
Feeling Off
I call these periods mini ‘dark nights of the soul’. I like the drama of that phrase and it does … More
Breaking free of the Social Shackles Continued
I have been exploring how we can be held back by others and motivated to hold ourselves back by our … More
Adversity as a Friend
One of the most exciting discoveries of the last couple of turbulent years for me is that personal adversity can … More
Testing the Wings
Up super early today and sitting gratefully cosy and comfy here on this December morning. Cold and dark outside. All … More
Short Wise Quote – Gay Hendricks
“I had been resisting reality all my life—resisting facing it, resisting accepting it, resisting feeling it. Whenever I would have … More
The Power of Admitting it
“I feel fear…… I feel fear……. I feel fear….. hello there fear I acknowledge you’. I say it out loud … More
Screen Time
Endless Twitter and Facebook scrolling, meetings and courses on Zoom, work on the computer, hours spent binge watching, and lots … More
“Shouldn’t I be Doing Something Else?“
“Something more important, more urgent”. This is a voice that comes to me quite regularly. And I answer it with … More
Faith, Trust, and Surrender
Still here deep in the folds of the current cycle – my little dark night of the soul raging away, … More
Enlightened Mentor
I had my second session last night. I had been making big leaps and bounds out of my shackles into … More
Numb
I experienced a long sobbing session yesterday. The tears then came and went through the day. Partly also a release … More
A Tightening
I have been tightening up and up and up, and it’s damn painful. A whole set of triggering factors ricocheting … More
Navigating a Balanced way
From dancing with joy in the woods in the rain the other day to a slump in mood and a … More
Happy and a bit Lost
I awoke feeling well rested and actually a touch blissful. In a gentle little private heaven. Pleasure in my bones. … More
Surrender Experiment – Day 3 Reflections
I’ve had 2 days of doing my surrender experiment now, and I’m delighted to say that I have managed to … More
The Resistance
It arrives like huge waves charging at me at times. It’s been even more insistent since I have become kinder … More
Easing gently into Self Care
And how to integrate it into my life, and how I do it. Firstly I take note that there is … More
Today’s recovery Plan
I’m aware I’m not out of the woods yet, and vulnerable to descent into gloom and anxiety. So for a … More
Undoing the grip of Anxiety
I have been feeling a lot of anxiety recently so got a bit of a moan today here for you! I … More
Just observing
I am watching this recovery process day by day, as well as being fully submerged within it too. I feel … More
Relief is Possible woohoo!
I love experiencing relief from my self created angst and misery. I am learning the art of accepting what is happening, … More
Learning to Rest with it All 