I’m compiling a list of companies and service providers and individuals who I’m going to write to and thank. Things … More
Tag: suffering
Letting go testing
After a few days of a smooth consistency of experiencing, mostly a feeling of spaciousness, just wandering around in nature, … More
A Passage
Awoke happy and deeply relaxed this morning, stretched out savouring the experience….no thoughts at all, just an awareness of the … More
Triggered
I feel the cold of the key as I turn it in the lock. Then the wondrous smell of the … More
More Contrast
I saw a good potential job yesterday though I may have blown it by what I said. They have a … More
Tension Building
Out the door at 7am with the dog for a short walk. Awake at 4Am. Today too anxious to be … More
Lowness
Been curious about this mood of malaise that has been here over the last days and week in particular. I … More
Accommodating Stress
Just after 8am and here I sit as my lovely kitchen table with a fire and a cup of tea … More
Facing it All
“Thank you for being here, it’s good to have your company”, I say to Elsa when she comes over for … More
Still in Worry
This is what the iChing said to me earlier Transcending the entire situation = turning away to attend to higher … More
Secret business stresses
I just need to get this all out, mostly business related. Secret because I don’t share this much with anyone, … More
Sunk Mood at the Start
Then a bit of changing the channel inside helped shift me out of it. Woke feeling an anxiety that has … More
Hello again Anxiety
Awoke with disturbed feelings amid a vivid dream about C. The theme was me trying to get love and him … More
Aloneness (in relation to Covid)
Bit of a long one today. And maybe controversial if you support the conventional approach to the vaccines and other … More
Negative Reactions
A beautiful time waking up in till I realised that I need to intervene with work not being done correctly … More
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Handing over Objections
Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More
Pausing and Allowing
Saw an otter yesterday in the river just after I had a strong inner prompting to slow right down to … More
Shadow Work
Day started with one friend inviting me for breakfast at the local bar/restaurant. I didn’t enjoy it. There was a … More
Shame
Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More
Angst
Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More
Undoings
Feeling low this morning. Yesterday I had a magnificent woodland walk, lunch at the park cafe….and saw the men on … More
Therapy Session
Light rain bringing such wonderful smells. It was lovely to walk in the fields and woods in the rain yesterday, … More
Hello Sad
Sadness has arrived this morning seemingly on the back of a dream. So I’m being here in it, with it. … More
Testing testing !
Who am I when things don’t go my way?What happens when events I don’t want to happen just happen anyway?When … More
Fun and Sharing day
Been loving the depth of sharing from my son T. Some of it quite hard for a mother to listen … More
Shadow work by Dream
Dreamt I was back in an office after 3 or 4 days off. I was asked by some colleagues if … More
Worry Thoughts
The more I practice dropping into the feelings in the body, the more pain I uncover. There’s a whole lineup … More
Gratitude Balm
Further in I go, a feeling of falling and of desolation of hope – no less 😂 oh I do … More
Being Open and Feeling Low
Being somewhat unravelled, undone and deconstructed just now, I’m not shining my usual note. There’s a low mood visiting and … More
Aloneness
I just read an excellent article summing up why reading the news is bad for us. It really spoke to … More
Wednesday Diary Entry
Had a lovely evening at G and M’s. I appreciated the elaborate meal they made for my birthday, though I … More
Moany Monday Mornin’
Headache is lingering, so I have a doctor appointment today. It is so pouring with rain out there and will … More
Defending a Position
Day 4 of this headache! and feeling quite worn down and mostly want to lie down a lot. It has … More
Low Mood Morning
The colourful visual zigzags started yesterday signalling the start of a migraine and then it arrived. Mildly painful only but … More
Criticising, company, appreciation….
Slept from 9pm till 6am, and feel well for it. Yesterday morning I took one of the men to work. … More
Resistance and Suffering
Today a big rain arrived after weeks of dryness. It added exciting new sensory elements to walking up the river. … More
Processing about of Self Judging
Here sitting at the kitchen table right now, where real life happens through the senses in this present as it … More
Processing a Fear Visitor
In came surges of quite intense raw anxiety as I lay expecting to be comfortably drifting in and out of … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Ebbs and Struggles
Third day of this migraine. Headache just humming away in the background. Not that sore but draining. Starts up again … More
Being with Uncertainty
The days seems to disappear in a blink, as do the weeks. Thursday already and this week has carried this … More
Quiet time Now
Much excitement has been arising inside about how far this relaxing into the present can be taken. A kind of … More
Diary entry – a Tuesday
So much seemingly taking place and yet ‘I’ feel very little to do with it. It’s as if there is … More
Connecting with Difficult Feelings
The body is the secret. What is being felt right now in this very moment? How do I know how … More
Asking for Help
4 hours in the sunshine and birdsong at the allotment yesterday. Was good to do some physical work and have … More
Shadow work
Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More
Surrounding Suffering
I had another night of listening to the centuries old Dzogchen texts read out by Samaneri Jayasara. I’ve got her … More
Strange World out There
Today. It’s 8am and I’m at the kitchen table, lovely long sleep as usual. Refreshed and ready for a brand … More
Bit Frazzled Today
The pattern continues of dropping, surrendering and opening and the sense of all pervading calmness that comes with that. This … More
Another Round of Processing
The angry call from my mum triggered some old childhood memories and feelings. The way our mum used to brush … More
So I Opened the Gates
And there’s now a little queue of unaddressed neglected feelings all lined up waiting their turn to be felt fully … More
Feeling Off
I call these periods mini ‘dark nights of the soul’. I like the drama of that phrase and it does … More
Short Wise Quote – Gay Hendricks
“I had been resisting reality all my life—resisting facing it, resisting accepting it, resisting feeling it. Whenever I would have … More
Thoughts Suggest what we should be Feeling
Thoughts come in continuously giving me suggestions of what I should be feeling. A thought can often be a suggestion … More
The Power of Admitting it
“I feel fear…… I feel fear……. I feel fear….. hello there fear I acknowledge you’. I say it out loud … More
“Shouldn’t I be Doing Something Else?“
“Something more important, more urgent”. This is a voice that comes to me quite regularly. And I answer it with … More
Chased by a Hive of Wasps!
Never a dull moment here in suburbia. Out for a walk yesterday I disturbed a hive of wasps in a … More
Just Sitting in Discomfort
Without doing something distracting to make myself feel better or taking something to make it go away or reduce the … More
A Spiritual Emergency
I’ve heard it called that. A few days of inner agony mostly on than off for days and days…angst, anxiety, … More
Learning to Rest with it All 