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Learning to Rest with it All

“Let go of what has passed. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening now. Don’t try to figure anything out. Don’t try to make anything happen. Relax, right now, and rest” Tilopa

Tag: suffering

Thank you Project

I’m compiling a list of companies and service providers and individuals who I’m going to write to and thank. Things … More

anxiety, Appreciation, being present, breathing, building resilience, fear, gratitude, nature walks, painful times, stress, suffering

Letting go testing

After a few days of a smooth consistency of experiencing, mostly a feeling of spaciousness, just wandering around in nature, … More

anxiety, fear, resistance, suffering, thoughts, trusting life, worry

A Passage

Awoke happy and deeply relaxed this morning, stretched out savouring the experience….no thoughts at all, just an awareness of the … More

Appreciation, being present, letting go, love, pain, self care, self soothing, suffering, surrender experiment, trusting life

Triggered

I feel the cold of the key as I turn it in the lock. Then the wondrous smell of the … More

anger, being present, feelings, gayatri, nature walks, non-duality, old friends and family, self care, self sabotage, suffering, thoughts, upper limit problem

More Contrast

I saw a good potential job yesterday though I may have blown it by what I said. They have a … More

anxiety, being present, fear, feeling safe, inner peace, present moment awareness, suffering, trusting life, worry

Tension Building

Out the door at 7am with the dog for a short walk. Awake at 4Am. Today too anxious to be … More

anxiety, fear, stress, suffering, surrender experiment, thoughts, worry

Lowness

Been curious about this mood of malaise that has been here over the last days and week in particular. I … More

anxiety, asking for help, fear, money fears, Money Issues, stress, suffering, thoughts, worry

Accommodating Stress

Just after 8am and here I sit as my lovely kitchen table with a fire and a cup of tea … More

anxiety, being present, letting go, suffering, surrender experiment, thoughts

Facing it All

“Thank you for being here, it’s good to have your company”, I say to Elsa when she comes over for … More

gayatri, gratitude, self love, self soothing, stress, suffering

Still in Worry

This is what the iChing said to me earlier Transcending the entire situation = turning away to attend to higher … More

anxiety, business, fear, guilt, money, money fears, resistance, shame, stress, suffering, worry

Secret business stresses

I just need to get this all out, mostly business related. Secret because I don’t share this much with anyone, … More

anxiety, fear, feeling safe, suffering, thoughts, worry

Sunk Mood at the Start

Then a bit of changing the channel inside helped shift me out of it. Woke feeling an anxiety that has … More

anxiety, building resilience, stress, suffering, worry

Hello again Anxiety

Awoke with disturbed feelings amid a vivid dream about C. The theme was me trying to get love and him … More

anxiety, childhood damage, fear, guilt, letting go, self compassion, self soothing, shame, suffering, thoughts, worry

Aloneness (in relation to Covid)

Bit of a long one today. And maybe controversial if you support the conventional approach to the vaccines and other … More

anxiety, covid, fear, feeling safe, love, self soothing, suffering, worry

Negative Reactions

A beautiful time waking up in till I realised that I need to intervene with work not being done correctly … More

anger, Michael Singer, painful times, resistance, suffering, surrender experiment, thoughts

Facing Reactivity

Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More

aversion, dread, fear, fear of success, guilt, misophonia, painful times, resistance, self defence, shame, stress, suffering, thoughts, upper limit problem, worry

Handing over Objections

Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More

acceptance, being present, letting go, resistance, self care, self compassion, self soothing, suffering

Pausing and Allowing

Saw an otter yesterday in the river just after I had a strong inner prompting to slow right down to … More

Appreciation, fear, letting go, love, resistance, self care, self soothing, suffering, surrender experiment

Shadow Work

Day started with one friend inviting me for breakfast at the local bar/restaurant. I didn’t enjoy it. There was a … More

building resilience, childhood damage, guilt, letting go, resistance, shame, suffering, surrender experiment

Shame

Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More

anxiety, childhood damage, dread, fear, feeling safe, guilt, habits, pain, shame, suffering, worry

Angst

Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More

dzogchen, fear, self compassion, stress, suffering, worry

Undoings

Feeling low this morning. Yesterday I had a magnificent woodland walk, lunch at the park cafe….and saw the men on … More

childhood damage, fear, letting go, stress, suffering, worry

Therapy Session

Light rain bringing such wonderful smells. It was lovely to walk in the fields and woods in the rain yesterday, … More

anger, childhood damage, compassion, Recovery, self care, suffering

Hello Sad

Sadness has arrived this morning seemingly on the back of a dream. So I’m being here in it, with it. … More

being present, mindfulness, solitude, suffering, surrender experiment, thoughts

Testing testing !

Who am I when things don’t go my way?What happens when events I don’t want to happen just happen anyway?When … More

acceptance, building resilience, reactiveness, resistance, suffering, worry

Fun and Sharing day

Been loving the depth of sharing from my son T. Some of it quite hard for a mother to listen … More

business, fear, stress, suffering, thoughts, worry

Shadow work by Dream

Dreamt I was back in an office after 3 or 4 days off. I was asked by some colleagues if … More

anxiety, fear, stress, suffering, surrender experiment, worry

Worry Thoughts

The more I practice dropping into the feelings in the body, the more pain I uncover. There’s a whole lineup … More

anxiety, fear, stress, suffering, thoughts, trusting life, worry

Gratitude Balm

Further in I go, a feeling of falling and of desolation of hope – no less 😂 oh I do … More

anxiety, Appreciation, enlightenment, gratitude, letting go, pain, painful times, solitude, suffering, surrender experiment

Being Open and Feeling Low

Being somewhat unravelled, undone and deconstructed just now, I’m not shining my usual note. There’s a low mood visiting and … More

compassion, fear, honesty, loneliness, solitude, suffering

Aloneness

I just read an excellent article summing up why reading the news is bad for us. It really spoke to … More

Appreciation, friends, painful times, silence, solitude, stillness, suffering, surrender experiment

Wednesday Diary Entry

Had a lovely evening at G and M’s. I appreciated the elaborate meal they made for my birthday, though I … More

nature, nature walks, suffering

Moany Monday Mornin’

Headache is lingering, so I have a doctor appointment today. It is so pouring with rain out there and will … More

Appreciation, gratitude, Headache, self soothing, suffering

Defending a Position

Day 4 of this headache! and feeling quite worn down and mostly want to lie down a lot. It has … More

anxiety, aversion, letting go, resistance, suffering, thoughts

Low Mood Morning

The colourful visual zigzags started yesterday signalling the start of a migraine and then it arrived. Mildly painful only but … More

anger, asking for help, building resilience, gratitude, letting go, misophonia, self compassion, suffering

Criticising, company, appreciation….

Slept from 9pm till 6am, and feel well for it. Yesterday morning I took one of the men to work. … More

anxiety, being present, fear, gratitude, living abundantly, relaxing, success, suffering, worry

Resistance and Suffering

Today a big rain arrived after weeks of dryness. It added exciting new sensory elements to walking up the river. … More

building resilience, letting go, resistance, stress, suffering, trusting life

Processing about of Self Judging

Here sitting at the kitchen table right now, where real life happens through the senses in this present as it … More

childhood damage, guilt, old friends and family, shame, stress, suffering, worry

Processing a Fear Visitor

In came surges of quite intense raw anxiety as I lay expecting to be comfortably drifting in and out of … More

anxiety, mindfulness, self compassion, suffering, surrender experiment

Into and Through Suffering

Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More

anxiety, building resilience, fear, freedom, nature, nature walks, resistance, self soothing, stress, suffering, surrender experiment, worry

Ebbs and Struggles

Third day of this migraine. Headache just humming away in the background. Not that sore but draining. Starts up again … More

aversion, pain, painful times, resistance, self compassion, suffering, ugly thoughts

Being with Uncertainty

The days seems to disappear in a blink, as do the weeks. Thursday already and this week has carried this … More

anxiety, building resilience, compassion, fear, Intimacy, letting go, mindfulness, suffering, thoughts, worry

Quiet time Now

Much excitement has been arising inside about how far this relaxing into the present can be taken. A kind of … More

anxiety, beauty of nature, being present, emotions, fear, feeling safe, here and now, inner peace, pain, relaxing, self compassion, self soothing, silence, stillness, suffering, thoughts

Diary entry – a Tuesday

So much seemingly taking place and yet ‘I’ feel very little to do with it. It’s as if there is … More

anxiety, childhood damage, feeling safe, letting go, mindfulness, self compassion, suffering

Connecting with Difficult Feelings

The body is the secret. What is being felt right now in this very moment? How do I know how … More

allowing feelings, anxiety, breathing, distress, fear, feeling safe, kindness, mindulness, self care, self love, self soothing, suffering, thoughts, wellbeing, worry

Asking for Help

4 hours in the sunshine and birdsong at the allotment yesterday. Was good to do some physical work and have … More

Appreciation, asking for help, building resilience, childhood damage, feeling safe, inspiration, Recovery, resistance, suffering, wellbeing

Shadow work

Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More

being present, dzogchen, fear, letting go, recapitulation, resistance, suffering, surrender experiment, worry

Surrounding Suffering

I had another night of listening to the centuries old Dzogchen texts read out by Samaneri Jayasara. I’ve got her … More

anger, being present, compassion, covid, love, painful times, stillness, suffering

Strange World out There

Today. It’s 8am and I’m at the kitchen table, lovely long sleep as usual. Refreshed and ready for a brand … More

anxiety, covid, letting go, resistance, suffering, surrender experiment

Bit Frazzled Today

The pattern continues of dropping, surrendering and opening and the sense of all pervading calmness that comes with that. This … More

anxiety, attachment to preferences, feeling safe, guilt, letting go, pain, painful times, suffering

Another Round of Processing

The angry call from my mum triggered some old childhood memories and feelings. The way our mum used to brush … More

anxiety, feeling safe, letting go, mindfulness, nature walks, old friends and family, self care, suffering

So I Opened the Gates

And there’s now a little queue of unaddressed neglected feelings all lined up waiting their turn to be felt fully … More

emotions, feelings, letting go, self compassion, suffering, surrender experiment, surrendering

Feeling Off

I call these periods mini ‘dark nights of the soul’. I like the drama of that phrase and it does … More

letting go, resistance, self care, self soothing, separation, suffering

Short Wise Quote – Gay Hendricks

“I had been resisting reality all my life—resisting facing it, resisting accepting it, resisting feeling it. Whenever I would have … More

Appreciation, being present, fear of success, feeling safe, flourishing, freedom, inner peace, letting go, love, mindfulness, Recovery, relaxing, resistance, self care, self compassion, self love, self soothing, success, suffering, trusting life

Thoughts Suggest what we should be Feeling

Thoughts come in continuously giving me suggestions of what I should be feeling. A thought can often be a suggestion … More

Appreciation, dzogchen, feeling safe, inner peace, letting go, love, mindfulness, mindulness, Recovery, refuge, relaxing, self care, self love, self soothing, stillness, suffering, thoughts, trusting life, wellbeing

The Power of Admitting it

“I feel fear…… I feel fear……. I feel fear….. hello there fear I acknowledge you’. I say it out loud … More

acceptance, anxiety, aversion, fear, love, pain, resistance, self compassion, self soothing, suffering, worry

“Shouldn’t I be Doing Something Else?“

“Something more important, more urgent”. This is a voice that comes to me quite regularly. And I answer it with … More

anxiety, building resilience, feeling safe, mindfulness, mindulness, Recovery, refuge, resistance, self care, self compassion, self soothing, suffering, thoughts, worry

Chased by a Hive of Wasps!

Never a dull moment here in suburbia. Out for a walk yesterday I disturbed a hive of wasps in a … More

suffering

Just Sitting in Discomfort

Without doing something distracting to make myself feel better or taking something to make it go away or reduce the … More

anxiety, building resilience, self compassion, suffering, surrender experiment, thoughts, worry

A Spiritual Emergency

I’ve heard it called that. A few days of inner agony mostly on than off for days and days…angst, anxiety, … More

anxiety, money fears, self compassion, self soothing, suffering, trusting life

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