Slowly returning to myself. Managed some self kindness practices this morning before I got up. Hand on the chest, other … More
Tag: worry
Still in Worry
This is what the iChing said to me earlier Transcending the entire situation = turning away to attend to higher … More
Love to the Inner Child in Us
I enjoy being awake in bed between about 5am to 7am, especially during these dark winter days. Several cups of … More
Exploring Fear
All future focussed, the fear. In the present, I don’t feel it. That’s why I get that ‘beside myself’ sense … More
Secret business stresses
I just need to get this all out, mostly business related. Secret because I don’t share this much with anyone, … More
Sunk Mood at the Start
Then a bit of changing the channel inside helped shift me out of it. Woke feeling an anxiety that has … More
Emerging from Turbulence
I think was resisting it, and trying to get a control thing going. My mind was saying You’re just not … More
Hello again Anxiety
Awoke with disturbed feelings amid a vivid dream about C. The theme was me trying to get love and him … More
Recovery Time
‘Twas a mixed bag our Xmas. And now I’m recovering my marbles back here with some space on my own … More
Ruffled up a Bit
Bit ruffled up inside again this morning. Though I started the day on awakening in bed with a hand on … More
Conversing with Fear
Feeling a bit uptight this morning. Hmmm. Curious about what’s happening. ‘Hello again fear, how it’s going. Anything you want … More
Moments of Grace
The moments I savour and appreciate. I get up at 8am each morning after a cup of tea and an … More
‘I love you, I’m here for you, you are valued…’
Grateful for this moment. It is peaceful, nothing awful is happening in close proximity, it’s warm enough, and there’s a … More
Aloneness (in relation to Covid)
Bit of a long one today. And maybe controversial if you support the conventional approach to the vaccines and other … More
Rainy Monday
Grey and very wet morning and I’ve been cheering myself up by singing as I get dressed and make tea, … More
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Luxury Waking Up
The experience of awaking this morning was delightful. As soon as I realised I was awake I started saying a … More
Imagination and Suffering
A visitation from emotional pain. Goodness gracious, what a level of suffering I went into yesterday. Succumbed to worries about … More
The Smooth and the Hard times
It was a pretty serious session with the first client in the morning, with death as a theme. Of her … More
Letting Go
I am well, relatively calm, and yet something is very different. I’m having these 8 and 9 and 10 hour … More
Thank you
Looked after despite my fears, time and time again. I doubted and was starting to worry about the lack of … More
New Day
New Life. New reset perhaps. Something does feel very very different. Just about in the clear covid wise, the test … More
Shame
Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More
Learning to Rest in Awareness
Being awake in bed and just being for a while. Not doing anything. Not picking up the iPad. No rush … More
Hello again Sadness and Anxiety
How unpredictable life can be ! We never know what life will present us with, or where the next challenge … More
Fearlessness Training
The kickback comes as a training exercise. Fearlessness is bathed in and then, anything fearful inside arises. The mere hint … More
Back out of It
As of yesterday, another project is more or less arranged for the men to move onto. I bounce out of … More
Angst
Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More
Undoings
Feeling low this morning. Yesterday I had a magnificent woodland walk, lunch at the park cafe….and saw the men on … More
Friday Ponderings
A little follow on from yesterdays musings… “People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is … More
Half Full/Half Empty
The half full perspective. It’s a beautiful sunny morning here. The men all have work and a job lined up … More
Testing testing !
Who am I when things don’t go my way?What happens when events I don’t want to happen just happen anyway?When … More
Congratulations to Me
Lying here in the immense heat of the hottest day on record in the U.K. 28 degrees C or 83F … More
Short Wise Quote from Rick Hanson
“Our ancestors could make two kinds of mistakes: (1) thinking there was a tiger in the bushes when there wasn’t … More
Fun and Sharing day
Been loving the depth of sharing from my son T. Some of it quite hard for a mother to listen … More
Surfing the Constant Fluctuations
Same again this morning, woke with disturbance inside, anxiety while coming out of a dream of being in the middle … More
Noticing and Dissolving Fears
Some fear and dread appeared again this morning, I could feel the sensation of the constriction in the throat and … More
Old Patterns
Checking in early today with some anxiety as I awoke out of a stress producing dream, that must have stirred … More
Shadow work by Dream
Dreamt I was back in an office after 3 or 4 days off. I was asked by some colleagues if … More
Worry Thoughts
The more I practice dropping into the feelings in the body, the more pain I uncover. There’s a whole lineup … More
Turning Towards Feelings
Awoke with the start of some little nippy worry thoughts arising in between sleep as I surfaced. The ones that … More
Business Tasks and Procrastination – Part 1
I had an odd realisation that I want to explore in the name of honesty with myself. It is a … More
Honesty Dose
I want to put these down before my ego, which doesn’t like remembering these kind of uncomfortable things, shuts it … More
Just this Moment
The hum of the heating, the warmth on the skin, the weight of the body on the seat. I’m breathing … More
Criticising, company, appreciation….
Slept from 9pm till 6am, and feel well for it. Yesterday morning I took one of the men to work. … More
Being Swept Along
I keep getting this recurring sense that I am not making all this happen. And that instead it is best … More
Processing about of Self Judging
Here sitting at the kitchen table right now, where real life happens through the senses in this present as it … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Transcendental Smell
There’s a certain smell that arises in the morning air after a long rain, when the moisture and temperature conditions … More
Dropping the concept of Procrastination
Actions seem to happen recently without much effort at all, and I’m curious about how that has gradually started to … More
Being with Uncertainty
The days seems to disappear in a blink, as do the weeks. Thursday already and this week has carried this … More
Drop the thought. All is well.
Strange night in and out of sleep. Not sure what the what is going on. Lot of blankness it seems, … More
Edge Dwelling
A morning at the allotment having another fire with E and a walk in the woods in the glorious sun, … More
Connecting with Difficult Feelings
The body is the secret. What is being felt right now in this very moment? How do I know how … More
Shadow work
Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More
Jumpy This Morning
Thursday. There’s a lot of this happening during this opening/awakening situation I’m in, disturbances and sufferings are way more noticeable … More
Arising Stuff – Recapitulation
Long one today…more of a personal diary entry on the childhood recapitulation and letting go trail. They keep arriving – … More
Everything is fine until I Think!
And try to control things. I start thinking and reflecting, then it feels crowded in here. I lose touch with … More
Ripples of Anxiety
Awoke this morning feeling a little clenched fist in my chest area. So I turned my attention to it, right … More
Stealing Peace
At times I feel as though I’m ‘stealing’ moments of peace. I don’t trust it fully. It’s like a passing … More
Learning to Rest with it All 