Awoke with disturbed feelings amid a vivid dream about C. The theme was me trying to get love and him … More
Tag: childhood damage
Restoration of Love
Ooo well that little foray yesterday ended with me in quite a lot of tears as I described my experience … More
I love, I respect and I like Myself
Breakfast in the park and walk with a friend in the morning, then a deeply restful afternoon yesterday. After that … More
Shadow Work
Day started with one friend inviting me for breakfast at the local bar/restaurant. I didn’t enjoy it. There was a … More
Shame
Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More
What a Great Day
Long intense detailed dream of me and another one or two friends actually inside this AI art program. Instead of … More
Undoings
Feeling low this morning. Yesterday I had a magnificent woodland walk, lunch at the park cafe….and saw the men on … More
Therapy Session
Light rain bringing such wonderful smells. It was lovely to walk in the fields and woods in the rain yesterday, … More
Relationship with Mum
I will maybe explore this over a few days as it will be too long. First I’ll lay out the … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
Privileged Abandonment
I was on a course all day yesterday about the damage done to children who are sent to boarding school. … More
Facing the Disturbing Stuff
Thought it’s about time I just allow the noises from upstairs to take place without putting music on every time … More
Dip of a Morning
Not sure why. It was a stressful day yesterday with more minor bad news from another project – easy to … More
Friends (Long One)
I suppose we need these times of feeling unhappily squeezed to face some things, we wouldn’t face them if we … More
Processing about of Self Judging
Here sitting at the kitchen table right now, where real life happens through the senses in this present as it … More
Transcendental Smell
There’s a certain smell that arises in the morning air after a long rain, when the moisture and temperature conditions … More
Diary entry – a Tuesday
So much seemingly taking place and yet ‘I’ feel very little to do with it. It’s as if there is … More
Asking for Help
4 hours in the sunshine and birdsong at the allotment yesterday. Was good to do some physical work and have … More
Choosing to Let Life go Well
I was lying in bed this morning, no need to get up, no need to do anything other than enjoy … More
Arising Stuff – Recapitulation
Long one today…more of a personal diary entry on the childhood recapitulation and letting go trail. They keep arriving – … More
Loving Ourselves – a reframing
We don’t have to learn how to love ourselves. We already love ourselves. All we have to do is to … More
It’s not all Roses
I often find my mood dipping. It happens quickly. At times it’s when I get carried away in little hostile … More
Having a Beginners Mind
I am experiencing a flow with my psychotherapy clients. I seem to know what to say and when and which … More
Letting the Joy loose
So. I’m still waiting to find out about the big project. And towards the end of yesterday I identified the … More
Uncomfortable realisation…
I’ve told the story many times about how my increasing self compassion and flourishing self worth caused me to let … More
The Terror and the Wonder of being Alive
Bit of a longer one this morning as I sit here drinking tea waiting to leave in an hour to … More
You Get What you Feel you Deserve
And that doesn’t apply to being struck by a random childhood disease and the likes. I have noticed how challenging … More
Reframing the Past
I have written a lot about the less than ideal aspects of my past and their effect on me. Looking … More
More sunshine and more anxiety
Just had a walk up the river with the dogs, yesterday it was through the bluebells in the woods with … More
How to be Happy, even if it Scares you.
And this is one big note-to-self here. I feel fear just writing this post. I’m scared of being happy. There, … More
Easing gently into Self Care
And how to integrate it into my life, and how I do it. Firstly I take note that there is … More
On Mindfulness, the dangers…
I’ve observed at a drop in mindfulness group I used to go to that some severely anxious people who came … More
Don’t like my Mum
Dear Friends, I was not a happy bunny yesterday. My mum who had sprained her ankle and suspected it might … More
Deserving Wellbeing
A fragment of thought after pondering the resistance I’ve experienced to making positive s subject is huge and requires a … More
Mother issues
I went to dinner last night at my mums, and my cousin was there too. I was exhausted after a … More
On Success
Thought I’d write a list, a sort of check in to the positive things that are happening. I am experiencing … More
Leaning into Feelings
One of the best tools in my stress resilience and anxiety recovery toolbox is learning to accept my feelings as … More
Self Love Club Update
I attended last night and it was intense. The theme was self acceptance. She got us to write down some … More
Self Encouragement
I feel a need to do this a lot recently, even though things are definitely improving. I want to remind … More
Awoke feeling stress
How is that bloody possible after 2 chilled days and a great sleep?! not sure why at all. Woke up … More
Going easy on Expectations
Some of the least happy periods I’ve had in my life have been when I’ve expected too much of myself. … More
Do we Get what we Feel we Deserve?
This is my experience of life so far. In the past when my level of self compassion and love was … More
Repairing the Inner Relationship
The other day I got news of the death of an old boyfriend who I met when I was 18. … More
How can I be Kind to Myself Today?
Every day is an exciting opportunity to start afresh with new practises of self compassion and of finding ways to … More
Self Love Vs Self Sabotage
These two are having a juicy war inside me at the moment. The more I love myself and open to allowing … More
My mind is having a big inner rant
It’s a family member, arggghhhhhh. Nothing like families to press your buttons. Who was it that said if you think … More
Learning to Rest with it All 