I think was resisting it, and trying to get a control thing going. My mind was saying You’re just not … More
Tag: being present
‘Oh hello little toes, hello legs’
It was only towards the end of the shower that I realised I hadn’t been really there for the experience. … More
The Revolution is an Inside Job
Little to reflect on personally as it is quiet here inside and out in my immediate environment in the depths … More
Recovery Time
‘Twas a mixed bag our Xmas. And now I’m recovering my marbles back here with some space on my own … More
Different Rhythm
A little bumpy adjusting last night to not having my usual near complete peace and solitude! Young people drinking and … More
The Expanded Self
It was useful to read this Course in Miracles Excerpt earlier, to be reminded of that sense of an expanded … More
Taking risks, trusting…
The dissolution of individual self, as that happens I am more free to be really myself. Free of fear running … More
Loving everything…
….is the direction this is going. And that is exciting and quite scary too when I think of what I … More
Feeling Safe
In bed as I awoke at 4am I said to myself gently I’m here for you I care about you … More
Reconnecting – List
The changes, leaps and new realisations require time and space to settle in. So I’m just having a simple little … More
Tools for dealing with Rumination
One trigger after the next the last few days! It has been painfully uncomfortable though feel grateful to the experience … More
Calming the Nervous System
A nine hour sleep last night and as I awoke I put my hand on my heart and said I … More
Encounter with Resistance
Thrilled to be noticing how integrated my self talk has become recently. There is barely anything other than positive affirmative … More
Saturday Morning
Blissful spacious love, I surrender into you. I give myself full permission to relax further and further into a backdrop … More
The Magic of Self Love ❤️
Each morning in the early hours when I stir from sleep I say some of the phrases from my list. … More
Surrendering
It’s pouring right now, windy and dark outside. Leaves flying off the trees. Inside it’s still and warm and cosy … More
Handing over Objections
Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More
Love Bombs
I’ve been dropping these love bombs on my beleaguered conditioned psyche recently. Think there’s quite a lot of inner adjustments … More
I love, I respect and I like Myself
Breakfast in the park and walk with a friend in the morning, then a deeply restful afternoon yesterday. After that … More
Thank you Body, thank you Shower…
I look down at my body standing there and I thank it for working so well. Then I thank the … More
You are Loved, You are cherished, I’m here for You
Another long sleep and bobbing in and out of sleep from the early hours. And again I went through the … More
I love you, I admire you, I thank you….
Whenever I surfaced from sleep in the early hours, I would say, “I love you Susan”, and then onto several … More
Letting Go
I am well, relatively calm, and yet something is very different. I’m having these 8 and 9 and 10 hour … More
Thank you
Looked after despite my fears, time and time again. I doubted and was starting to worry about the lack of … More
New Day
New Life. New reset perhaps. Something does feel very very different. Just about in the clear covid wise, the test … More
A Wonderful Day
Yesterday was wonderful. First, a long term therapy client made some important little breakthroughs. And he is now a month … More
Surfing Anxiety
That’s what it feels like when I allow myself to feel anxiety without collapsing into it and drowning in it. … More
What a Great Day
Long intense detailed dream of me and another one or two friends actually inside this AI art program. Instead of … More
Learning to Rest in Awareness
Being awake in bed and just being for a while. Not doing anything. Not picking up the iPad. No rush … More
Smoothness
Ease of being the last while. Not wanting much I notice and that seems to be a secret of well-being. … More
Not Two
The feeling residue of the ‘tantric sex’ dream was with me almost all day yesterday. That phrase tantric sex actually … More
Tantric Sex Dream
Dream last night. A sacred encounter no less, and the ultimate slow sex experience. We were completely and utterly in … More
Really really Free
Yesterday – was such a joy of a day. There was a therapy client first thing on Zoom. Every session … More
Relaxing and Contracting
I just sent the price over to the (potential) next client. The job that is due to start in a … More
Friday Ponderings
A little follow on from yesterdays musings… “People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is … More
Flow of Experience
Being carried along by the morning’s experiences Noticing the way the early sunshine beams through the room. Bending down to … More
Violins in the Park
Contracting up….noticing noticing….And relaxing back into aware space and remembering to breath. A beautiful morning walk and lunch at the … More
Hello Sad
Sadness has arrived this morning seemingly on the back of a dream. So I’m being here in it, with it. … More
Enlightenment, what is it?
Another ordinary day with its guest star ⭐️ beauty ⭐️ present much of the time yesterday. Went to the park … More
Sitting back inside
Been practicing and practicing through the night whenever I surface and this morning when I awoke and dropped off and … More
Active Not Passive
Was listening to James Low talking about Dzogchen on and off all night. I fall asleep listening to these talks. … More
Stillness and Flux
The changing dynamic appearances and arisings of life emerge spontaneously within an alive field of open vibrant spaciousness. If there … More
Feeling Well
I ping pong between dread and anxiety and trust and go with the flow and this blog is the drama … More
Wednesday Diary
After a bumpy start yesterday, seeing a therapy client and feeling useful from that then being outside in nature by … More
Surfing the Constant Fluctuations
Same again this morning, woke with disturbance inside, anxiety while coming out of a dream of being in the middle … More
Noticing and Dissolving Fears
Some fear and dread appeared again this morning, I could feel the sensation of the constriction in the throat and … More
Ground of Being
Collapsing back into the Ground of Being, the unspeakable unknowable which underlies all manifestation….the great unified field of Rigpa….and much … More
Old Patterns
Checking in early today with some anxiety as I awoke out of a stress producing dream, that must have stirred … More
Sitting into Trust
Awoke slowly and the words of the Gayatri arose again. I am in good company! And I fell asleep last … More
Gayatri Mantra
Still reciting the Gayatri out loud quietly and inside a lot. I haven’t much experience with mantra based meditation but … More
Dark Night Cont…
What a drama it all is right now. Still in this trial of a time, and this fear is in … More
Appreciating the Small
Awake at 5, I open the window and the fragrant rainy fresh air rushes in, and my body says thank … More
Turning Towards Feelings
Awoke with the start of some little nippy worry thoughts arising in between sleep as I surfaced. The ones that … More
Beautiful Morning
After session with a client yesterday I walked to the allotment with the dog through the little woods. I stayed … More
A Little Drama
I’ve been submerging back into the teachings of Longchenpa the last couple of days, after weeks of being unable to … More
New Vibe in the Air
Out early today to bathe in the morning sunshine – up the river to the woods and into the field. … More
Dissolving Identity
Everything I ever wanted is already here. I was just watching this video by Angelo DiLullo in bed this morning … More
Resting and Adjusting
Was able to articulate a little better what is being experienced when I was with M. Something about his energy … More
Abundance of Miracles
Gosh what a joy and an honour and privilege to witness the abundance and the multiple miracles around in nature. … More
Just this Moment
The hum of the heating, the warmth on the skin, the weight of the body on the seat. I’m breathing … More
Learning to Rest with it All 