Covid Introversion Pressure Cooker

This isolation. The deaths. It’s a shock. Many of us are in shock from what I can see. Life has ‘stopped’ in many ways. We are being forced into an unfamiliar level of stillness . This to many if not most of us forces us to face ourselves. It’s traumatic and it’s also an enormous gift and opportunity.

I’ve been experiencing so much and such a variety of feelings. From fear for my survival, boredom, frustration, irritation, to joyful bliss watching the ripples on a local pond in the sun. Bliss when I slow down and enter into what is happening now.

Forced to pause. Feel the feelings. Not so many distractions, less interpersonal dramas to experience and share and less busy busy busy. Everything has slowed right down.

It’s an unintended big experiment in introversion. we are being forced to ask some questions, some of which many haven’t asked before. Do I like my job, my life, my partner, how I have turned out?

Many experiencing volunteer work and helping neighbours and the wonderful feeling of being part of a community. The compassion for the front line workers risking their lives for us. The sadness of the deaths and those with this horrible illness.

I’ve been through a few weeks of paralyses as what I was previously doing I can’t now. So grinding to an almighty halt.

A recalibration. Dealing with the shock of this. The amount of unknowns around it. We don’t even know what this disease is yet, how to treat it, we don’t know how many have this, or when tests will be available or when the lockdown will end. And collective trauma, let’s not underestimate that. The incomes lost, the little businesses going under.

I have to come to right now this minute. And in this minute I am well. I’m alive. I’m not threatened. I’m am even comfy on this chair, in the warm apartment. The sun is shining out there and spring is in full flow. The park is across the road, and I have enough food today.

Something will come out of this for me and many others, something new. At the moment that time isn’t now for me, I’m fine with that and I will know when the time is to act. I’m resting. And I’m processing this trauma. And I’m doing a lot more exercise outside on my bike. Enjoying nature.

I consider this as an opportunity for us to awake. To face fears. To feel compassion for ourselves and others who are suffering.