Was listening to James Low talking about Dzogchen on and off all night. I fall asleep listening to these talks. Another 8 hour sleep so I recommend it highly!
If I surface, I just press play again. I hear very little of it, a few sentences usually before I dose off again, but what I do hear goes in deeply at times. No distractions and in a relaxed state.
“We are active agents, not passive participants”.
For some reason that got to me. I felt a spark and it energised me. It reminded me of a courage I’d almost forgotten about. YES! It works for me being a doer.
I’ve been having a sense of sinking into apathy under a sense of inevitability about things. What’s the point. So what if the business goes down.
I wonder if what is going on in the world out there has contributed to a kind of almost doom or pointlessness, nihilism even.
The whole long list we get bombarded with daily of bad news outwith our control. the climate, the war, inflation for a start. There’s the trauma I suspect we have all experienced from Covid that barely anyone is acknowledging.
And also the whole non-duality path – there’s a strong surrendering to ‘what is’ element on this path. That has made me feel a bit floppy and lacking volition. Just meet life as it arises. Be with the spaciousness. When actually I’m free to do whatever occurs to me and just trust that.
I wrote to my old sort of ‘teacher’ Marc Leavitt. Drawn towards that high quality company which exudes such wisdom and love….good company is highly valued on what can be a pretty lonely path.
It was a beautiful day yesterday. I spent time wondering around as usual by the river but mostly indoors away from the searing heat, and today is hot too. Been taking the dog to the river early and the evening where she just stands and cools off.
Watching my response to success and how a part of me is veering away from it. Today I will embrace it in the name of embracing it all.