Intense mental and creative activity. Well at least my mind isn’t getting up to no good. No space to wander off into future catastrophe….a whole lotta details today here, earthly matters.
Full full on working going on here. Very intensive focus on minute details of geometry, levels and measurements and aesthetics and the practical application. That’s the technical drawing of terracing a garden. Both cad technicians working flat out to prepare the drawing the client loved. However she had sent it to friends and an architect relative who gave his very definite opinions as for the friend. And the son. Lot to juggle about. It was hard enough to make it work the first time.
Then a change of the complex plan and now redoing it all and the cad technicians already exhausted. It’s requiring every bit of analytic power. I work into the evening making it work then get the drawing back changed again to something that doesn’t work from R. I redo it this morning and send to her, jeezo. She is working full time and has 2 young children and sending me a drawing at 11.30pm with mistakes.
This is not coming easily. I take note. I persevere. Have another meeting with client arranged for Friday. Said I’d have it priced. Hoping to actually start the work next week. Tight.
So in the time I wrote this I’ve abandoned changing the design and sticking with the original. Let the cad technicians know. It’s just the way the river wants to flow. That’s what swimming upstream feels like. Thanks for the opportunity. It’s a lot of work, and for what. Something to do. A little money. Some satisfaction. Giving the men work.
2 therapy clients yesterday morning. Both went very well. The second client very low self esteem and trauma too. was only able to circle 3 of the 45 positive traits. I have to go slowly with her, it’s not going to be quick or easy.
Then the delightful meeting, followed by a woodland walk with old 78 year old friend W. Mmm notice between her prayers out loud to the Archangel Gabriel, there’s jaggy little attacks. Odd that.
Then I try to relax for a couple of hours , but don’t really, more like dissociating. Watch some podcast about nano bots. Not feeling afraid, just heightened stimulation. Perhaps just adrenaline. Mind so primed with all these figures and calculations and variables. It’s kind of a flow state. Intense.
In bed my son phones. Also intense. 2 hours of very deep chat. We can really talk directly. It’s wonderful. He is lost in substance abuse, alcohol, and I’d say it’s a breakdown. Not even filing his taxes, no idea what money he has. I refrain from advice. Though give some straight talk.
Mood is stable. Just focusing. Today a therapy client in an hour then to project in its last week 45 miles away. I redid the costing for that yesterday and there’s a bit more money to come. Probably a park walk with E, and a therapy client tonight at 6.30. Full on just now.
The sun is shining. It’s 2 degrees outside, pretty chilly. Heating noises, traffic, warm fire, weight of the body on the seat, and breathing, and breathing. Bit dissociated and yet fully here too. Feelings not contracted. And I’m not feeling surrendered either. What is this? The taste of intense creative activity in full flow.
Learning to Rest with it All 