Inside and reflected then outside. Met N at the cafe in the park, and a lot of people all around with a very loud barking dog next to us for over half an hour as we sat and tried to enjoy a chat and lunch. I got quite distracted by it and verged on saying something to the people though held back and they eventually left. No was a bit critical toward me, about feeding the birds bread, about aspects of running a business.
It’s manifestations of inside noise, I can see that. I’ve noticed a lot recently that often my thoughts are undisciplined. The result perhaps of not doing much sitting meditation practice in my life. And letting the inner dialogue run free and unchecked i]often. Now I’m having to take time to sit and just be and learn to bridle the inner rampage of these thoughts.
This morning in bed I did a very effective meditation. I breathed while counting each breath, and when a thought gatecrashed, I started over 1……2……..3……think this is what is required just now.
As the heat is turned up and the ego feels itself dethroned more and more, its taking vengeance and trying to reclaim lost ground. Trial by fire. That’s what we are in for on this path.
My devotion is being tested. Can I handle the pain, or will I capitulate? I’m spending a lot of hours on Twitter, captivated by the insanity of the trans activist demands and the public’s ongoing response. I felt better not getting involved.
Zoomed out life works better for entering higher states. Like the monks in monastic settings apart from the dusty marketplace of the city. Yet this is where my classroom is right now.
Had a wonderful therapy session with a client. She felt empowered and encouraged as she realised her own strength and kindness and other positive qualities. Love the job.