Lot of challenging situations all at once. Critical mass. Nothing life threatening but enough complexity and sense of emotional overwhelm that I reach out for help. This afternoon an appointment with William for focus on what’s necessary.
My mind is splintered in several directions. Need help to distil the steps. Tomorrow Cate the life coach for input about this business. How to make a plan to wind it down and make sure I can support myself too.
I faced a couple of people yesterday who I was stubbornly and fearfully avoiding replying to…..avoidance doesn’t work and fear is a terrible advisor. That’s the biggest insight of the last 24 hours. I feel better facing things. Today I face borrowing money to pay the £9k vat bill. Has to be done.
And somehow today asking this client for £5k for less than a week’s work….to pay the wages….it will be fine. Sent the price for the next job, dont know if they will go for it. Quite high. Sent and let it go…onto the next. I’ve a new garden to see this morning. A therapy client this morning first. Then William Howells this afternoon. Always get nervous. Well the ego does. He is no bullshit, no quarter to any nonsense. My heart loves and needs to be around that type of influence. Cold clear light of truth. An impersonal love that burns the part that is deluded.
T said he’s returning to Portugal end of next month. Some sort of action at least. We went to the plant nursery yesterday and a walk in the park. Sunny. I made a nice meal and had had the ACIM meeting which was barely bearable again, so much old pal chit chat with barely any point. I left early. Good sleep. Fear on me again early…just put on Eckhart Tolle, it helps a lot. Lay on the spiked mat before getting up for 15 mins.
Learning to Rest with it All 