A visitation from emotional pain. Goodness gracious, what a level of suffering I went into yesterday. Succumbed to worries about … More
Category: worry
Shame
Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More
Navigating Feelings and Thoughts
Windy wet start out there this morning. Dog curled up happy beside me. Nearly always open and happy she is, … More
Half Full/Half Empty
The half full perspective. It’s a beautiful sunny morning here. The men all have work and a job lined up … More
Evening Thanks
Breath in……and out….saying thank you inside as I exhale. Breath in…and out…..thank you. A pause to be grateful. Thank you … More
Dark Night Cont…
What a drama it all is right now. Still in this trial of a time, and this fear is in … More
Appreciating the Small
Awake at 5, I open the window and the fragrant rainy fresh air rushes in, and my body says thank … More
Waking up in Heaven
Awaking early I become aware of the exquisite pleasure of the body within folds of fresh brushed cotton bedding. The … More
Transcendental Smell
There’s a certain smell that arises in the morning air after a long rain, when the moisture and temperature conditions … More
Connecting with Difficult Feelings
The body is the secret. What is being felt right now in this very moment? How do I know how … More
Just Being
I’m making friends with ‘just being’ these days. Dropping much of the mental content and outwards focus and turning towards … More
Wave of Fear
One arrived this morning. ‘Shouldn’t you be worried about something, you might be forgetting something really important?” A thought suggested. … More
Covid Era Journey
I went from being very scared at first, washing my shopping, my hands, holding my breath when joggers passed me … More
Jittery Edge Territory
Circling the edges surrounding the new unexplored territory and physically experiencing the jitters. Joyful jitters though, excitement and anticipation of … More
Thoughts Suggest what we should be Feeling
Thoughts come in continuously giving me suggestions of what I should be feeling. A thought can often be a suggestion … More
The Power of Admitting it
“I feel fear…… I feel fear……. I feel fear….. hello there fear I acknowledge you’. I say it out loud … More
Surrendering Anxiety
Here we go, right on cue, after tastes of fabulous freedom recently, anxiety provoking thoughts arrive a day or two … More
Walking to the Edge
All day yesterday the phrase ‘walk to the edge and the edge will come to meet you, and then you … More
Waking up Happy
More accurately, I woke up NOT feeling scared or anxious at all which allowed my natural state of being to … More
Worry Hijack Dissected
I’ve been communicating about and celebrating my successes here lately so here’s an example of different type of success, a … More
Thinking it into Existence
Continuing with dropping the thoughts and just trusting the Ground, over and over…..though less requirement recently, and it’s more automatic … More
Awakening help
I’ve benefitted greatly from listening to Angelo DiLullo. I’m listening to this podcast this morning with Viking Guru (who asks … More
Just Sitting in Discomfort
Without doing something distracting to make myself feel better or taking something to make it go away or reduce the … More
Numb
I experienced a long sobbing session yesterday. The tears then came and went through the day. Partly also a release … More
A Tightening
I have been tightening up and up and up, and it’s damn painful. A whole set of triggering factors ricocheting … More
Inner Dialogue
It started in 1979 when I found a Carlos Castaneda book on my dads bedside table. It said that the … More
Surrender Experiment Day 11
Now firmly in the swing of surrendering when the annoyance from hearing banging and creaking upstairs appears. I notice occasionally … More
Kindness all Round
As individuals, as a city, a country and a world – not knowing how this Covid 19 is going to … More
Maintaining life during Covid
On this rollercoaster of acclimatising to Covid I’m experiencing very vivid intense dreams, leaving me baffled and emotionally hungover in … More
The Terror and the Wonder of being Alive
Bit of a longer one this morning as I sit here drinking tea waiting to leave in an hour to … More
How I stopped biting my Nails after 52 years
In my baby book it was written when my age was just 2, “she bites her nails”. And I have … More
A Desire to Impress others
I noticed a thought that I felt embarrassed to witness this morning. The thought was, ‘I hope she notices how … More
Riding Worry
I ride the potentially fear producing thoughts these days with greater ease than before. This is what I do. ‘Oh … More
The Resistance
It arrives like huge waves charging at me at times. It’s been even more insistent since I have become kinder … More
Changes Made – and more Needed
Mostly business. I’ve now only got one team instead of two which means only one project at a time, half … More
Good Facts for Building Resilience
Writing a list of ‘good facts’ is a helpful way of reminding myself that there’s a lot of positive things … More
My Journey from Unworthy to Worthy
This has been the focus for the last week or two. Realising that as a result of some beliefs I … More
Loving Yourself
Where does the taboo against loving ourselves come from, this belief that it is wrong to have high self esteem? … More
So far so good…
Have gone many many days now in a state of relative stability and wellbeing and so far have not done … More
Thoughts effect our Feelings
I was walking along in the park and I noticed a sharp drop in my mood. Then I realised that … More
New beginnings
Circumstances continue to temp catastrophising thoughts and I getting pretty jammy at dealing with them now. I notice them as … More
When it’s Tough in Here
It’s really windy and pouring and it’s going to be an all-day-er. I notice that when anxiety is present, combined … More
Finding a Path with Heart
After discovering how I can learn to love myself and value and be kind to myself a few years ago, … More
How I think, How I Feel
I sometimes have a thought something like ‘ oh everything is chaotic, it’s scary, and I’m barely coping’. I also … More
Latest Workshop update
I spent 5 hours at a Refresh your Energy art workshop today. It was a good laugh with a bunch … More
Help is Available
I have two life coaches at the moment, a therapist and an occasional mindfulness coach. What has happened over the … More
So I sacked the Guy
The build up to this for me was so very stressful. I really dislike hurting people. But as the custodian … More
Saturday anxiety flavours
In bed of course, the weekly treat to loll around with no need to do anything or go anywhere. My … More
Horrible
So I went to see a client, saw how badly my man had finished her job, she didn’t pay me … More
Recovery Day Two
How can I be kind and nurture myself today? Another long lie starts the day, cosy inside looking out at … More
Soothing and Inner Demons
And how easily invited in hell is. There I was lying, slipping slowly into awakeness at 6am and touched by the … More
Today’s Process, Resting
‘Resting’ rather than ‘doing’ or ‘trying’ or ‘striving’ to adjust or replace or avoid or cling onto or get rid … More
Choppy Waters again
Paddling round the edges of hell this morning. I am being mentally assaulted and pounded by desires to turn away … More
Weekend Boozy Train-smash
The weekend started fine. On Saturday a beautiful walk and little picnic with a 10 year girl, walking around in the woods up … More
Anxiety came back – Radical Action required!
And I spent days experiencing some level of fear – of nothing in particular, well not that I could identify. … More
Always at Home
I am, whether I realise it or not, always home. I often do not take the time to wean myself … More
Letting the shoots sprout…
…without pulling them prematurely out of the ground. This is a time of taking small steps in a consistent definite … More
Oh this razor edged path!
If I deviate even a few millimetres away from the path of being present right now in this very moment, … More
Glimpses of peace and joy
More than that, ecstasy is a more accurate description, a knowing of the perfection of each and every moment. A … More
Learning to Rest with it All 