Almost all day up I was noticeably comfortable in my own skin, and at ease with life. Couple of trigger … More
Category: surrender
Negative Reactions
A beautiful time waking up in till I realised that I need to intervene with work not being done correctly … More
Making Life a bit more Fun
Each day starts with noticing that I’m waking from sleep. Immediately some words of love and support come into my … More
The Magic of Self Love ❤️
Each morning in the early hours when I stir from sleep I say some of the phrases from my list. … More
Updated Positive Self Talk list
I love you I respect you I care about you I want the best for you I appreciate you I … More
Surrendering back into Love
Working away on my irritated reactiveness to noises, noticing that crucial tension point of decision…. ….to ally myself with the … More
Handing over Objections
Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More
Letting Go
I am well, relatively calm, and yet something is very different. I’m having these 8 and 9 and 10 hour … More
Monday Morning Healing
Yesterday a new pine woodland to explore beyond the city. The vibration of driving calmed the nervous system, new sights, … More
More Calmness
Such a treat to go through these last days nearly entirely anxiety free and to experience being this free from … More
Not Two
The feeling residue of the ‘tantric sex’ dream was with me almost all day yesterday. That phrase tantric sex actually … More
Really really Free
Yesterday – was such a joy of a day. There was a therapy client first thing on Zoom. Every session … More
Relaxing and Contracting
I just sent the price over to the (potential) next client. The job that is due to start in a … More
Angst
Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More
Navigating Feelings and Thoughts
Windy wet start out there this morning. Dog curled up happy beside me. Nearly always open and happy she is, … More
Enlightenment, what is it?
Another ordinary day with its guest star ⭐️ beauty ⭐️ present much of the time yesterday. Went to the park … More
Evening Thanks
Breath in……and out….saying thank you inside as I exhale. Breath in…and out…..thank you. A pause to be grateful. Thank you … More
Stillness and Flux
The changing dynamic appearances and arisings of life emerge spontaneously within an alive field of open vibrant spaciousness. If there … More
Gayatri Mantra
Still reciting the Gayatri out loud quietly and inside a lot. I haven’t much experience with mantra based meditation but … More
Gratitude Balm
Further in I go, a feeling of falling and of desolation of hope – no less 😂 oh I do … More
Dissolving Identity
Everything I ever wanted is already here. I was just watching this video by Angelo DiLullo in bed this morning … More
Resting and Adjusting
Was able to articulate a little better what is being experienced when I was with M. Something about his energy … More
Self Doubt, Self Confidence
No headache today and it’s my birthday. Woohoo. Got dinner tonight with 2 friends at their place. Did the usual … More
Defending a Position
Day 4 of this headache! and feeling quite worn down and mostly want to lie down a lot. It has … More
Low Mood Morning
The colourful visual zigzags started yesterday signalling the start of a migraine and then it arrived. Mildly painful only but … More
Just this Moment
The hum of the heating, the warmth on the skin, the weight of the body on the seat. I’m breathing … More
Resistance and Suffering
Today a big rain arrived after weeks of dryness. It added exciting new sensory elements to walking up the river. … More
Another Beautiful day
Homage to those first few breaths of the fresh morning air outside! It is a daily precious miracle experience I … More
Being Swept Along
I keep getting this recurring sense that I am not making all this happen. And that instead it is best … More
Head doesn’t get It
And that doesn’t mean non-duality isn’t worth exploring though! Angelo DiLullo posted an interesting video recently though very puzzling to … More
Processing a Fear Visitor
In came surges of quite intense raw anxiety as I lay expecting to be comfortably drifting in and out of … More
Later
Well well well, it didn’t take much to shift that stuck energy, and I did feel pretty stuck. As I … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Non-duality, Love and Running a Business
Curious about running a business from a non-dual perspective and if it’s even possible. Gosh this has come up so … More
Learning to Rest with it All
And each apparent failure to do that is not a failure. Lying in bed waking, dipping in and out of … More
Actually doing it
Not only reading about it and watching YouTube videos about it….. Being here and now this. very. second. I am … More
Chat with an Enlightened Person
And they would say there is no person and all of us were never not enlightened. The Marc Leavitt conversations … More
Dropping the concept of Procrastination
Actions seem to happen recently without much effort at all, and I’m curious about how that has gradually started to … More
Drop the thought. All is well.
Strange night in and out of sleep. Not sure what the what is going on. Lot of blankness it seems, … More
Ego Games
Sunshine outside, and listening to Nisargadatta being read, and it is sublime. This one will be on repeat over and … More
What Self?
I’ve spent all these years developing and improving this ‘self’ called Susan only to discover that the secret all along … More
Veneration
I don’t know where veneration fits in or if it is the right word. Sounds religious. Or who to write … More
Becoming Everything
Reading a post this morning was realising that when the ‘I’ disappears, there’s no place to take a position from, … More
Shadow work
Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More
An Anxiety Visit
This happens fairly regularly these days as I go deeper into trust. And it seems to be cyclic following a … More
Choosing to Let Life go Well
I was lying in bed this morning, no need to get up, no need to do anything other than enjoy … More
Arising Stuff – Recapitulation
Long one today…more of a personal diary entry on the childhood recapitulation and letting go trail. They keep arriving – … More
Ripples of Anxiety
Awoke this morning feeling a little clenched fist in my chest area. So I turned my attention to it, right … More
Free of ‘Me’
I’m so very grateful to these directly felt experiences of how beautiful life can be. Right now everything feels perfect … More
Just Being
I’m making friends with ‘just being’ these days. Dropping much of the mental content and outwards focus and turning towards … More
Trusting Safety
Another day in the life with some of my inner processes. Again written for my future self. Who I imagine … More
Hungry Ghosts – Addiction Dropping
This is a little personal congratulations and an acknowledgement of something that is of significance to me, and that is … More
And Back to Peace again
Relative peace anyway. My ego is on alert now it knows I’m onto it! I am on this intensive personal … More
So I Opened the Gates
And there’s now a little queue of unaddressed neglected feelings all lined up waiting their turn to be felt fully … More
Dropping down into Feelings
A thrill of anticipation this morning as I was getting up. I know how to deal with anxiety at last … More
Feeling Off
I call these periods mini ‘dark nights of the soul’. I like the drama of that phrase and it does … More
Jittery Edge Territory
Circling the edges surrounding the new unexplored territory and physically experiencing the jitters. Joyful jitters though, excitement and anticipation of … More
What am I Grateful for about Myself
What am I grateful for about myself? I’m grateful for my appreciation of beauty, my softness, empathy, intelligence, kindness. I … More
Lost at Sea
Yes that’s a perfect description for my felt experience at the moment. After weeks of family visits and dinners I’m … More
Adversity as a Friend
One of the most exciting discoveries of the last couple of turbulent years for me is that personal adversity can … More
Learning to Rest with it All 