I sit breathing low and steady, noticing emotions that are jangling around in my throat area and solar plexus. This … More
Category: suffering
Handshake with Feelings
Miraculously I did find a place of peace inside yesterday. I thought I was going to melt with all that … More
Secret business stresses
I just need to get this all out, mostly business related. Secret because I don’t share this much with anyone, … More
Big Changes in the Air
I woke up having the most lovely kiss with Elon Musk! 😂 The felt that was protecting my summerhouse outside … More
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Back to Love
Tired this morning, 4 hours sleep after staying up exceedingly late into the night watching series 5 of the Handmaiden’s … More
Handing over Objections
Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More
Shame
Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More
Angst
Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More
Therapy Session
Light rain bringing such wonderful smells. It was lovely to walk in the fields and woods in the rain yesterday, … More
Testing testing !
Who am I when things don’t go my way?What happens when events I don’t want to happen just happen anyway?When … More
Appreciating the Small
Awake at 5, I open the window and the fragrant rainy fresh air rushes in, and my body says thank … More
Relationship with Mum
I will maybe explore this over a few days as it will be too long. First I’ll lay out the … More
Gratitude Balm
Further in I go, a feeling of falling and of desolation of hope – no less 😂 oh I do … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
Low Mood Morning
The colourful visual zigzags started yesterday signalling the start of a migraine and then it arrived. Mildly painful only but … More
Friends (Long One)
I suppose we need these times of feeling unhappily squeezed to face some things, we wouldn’t face them if we … More
Processing a Fear Visitor
In came surges of quite intense raw anxiety as I lay expecting to be comfortably drifting in and out of … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Ebbs and Struggles
Third day of this migraine. Headache just humming away in the background. Not that sore but draining. Starts up again … More
Drop the thought. All is well.
Strange night in and out of sleep. Not sure what the what is going on. Lot of blankness it seems, … More
Connecting with Difficult Feelings
The body is the secret. What is being felt right now in this very moment? How do I know how … More
Surrounding Suffering
I had another night of listening to the centuries old Dzogchen texts read out by Samaneri Jayasara. I’ve got her … More
Stealing Peace
At times I feel as though I’m ‘stealing’ moments of peace. I don’t trust it fully. It’s like a passing … More
Strange World out There
Today. It’s 8am and I’m at the kitchen table, lovely long sleep as usual. Refreshed and ready for a brand … More
So I Opened the Gates
And there’s now a little queue of unaddressed neglected feelings all lined up waiting their turn to be felt fully … More
Letting go of Anxiety
By feeling it. Fully. And relaxing with it. The fear is that if we allow uncomfortable feelings to be felt, … More
Feeling Off
I call these periods mini ‘dark nights of the soul’. I like the drama of that phrase and it does … More
Untangling Obstructions
With the quiet patience of few expectations this last week has been one of resting, simplicity and a chance to … More
Thoughts Suggest what we should be Feeling
Thoughts come in continuously giving me suggestions of what I should be feeling. A thought can often be a suggestion … More
Surrendering Anxiety
Here we go, right on cue, after tastes of fabulous freedom recently, anxiety provoking thoughts arrive a day or two … More
Worry Hijack Dissected
I’ve been communicating about and celebrating my successes here lately so here’s an example of different type of success, a … More
“Shouldn’t I be Doing Something Else?“
“Something more important, more urgent”. This is a voice that comes to me quite regularly. And I answer it with … More
Emotions – They are Temporary
Quick one to remind us that it is helpful to keep in mind that emotions are largely temporary. It’s particularly … More
Chased by a Hive of Wasps!
Never a dull moment here in suburbia. Out for a walk yesterday I disturbed a hive of wasps in a … More
Numb
I experienced a long sobbing session yesterday. The tears then came and went through the day. Partly also a release … More
Having a Beginners Mind
I am experiencing a flow with my psychotherapy clients. I seem to know what to say and when and which … More
Running Away
Anything but turn kindly towards ourselves and embrace ourselves with compassion as we would a friend or a small scared … More
Encountering the Psychiatric System
Yet another client who is so cognitively impaired by the multiple psychiatric drugs he is on that I’m not sure … More
The Terror and the Wonder of being Alive
Bit of a longer one this morning as I sit here drinking tea waiting to leave in an hour to … More
A New Day for Gratitude
Each of these new days is an opportunity to make choices. What thoughts do I choose to entertain and allow … More
Bit of a diary entry this one
Don’t expect anyone to read it as it’s long and a splurging out of troubles. Just need to express how … More
Celebrating Bad things that Haven’t Happened!
Part of reprogramming my mind towards noticing more ‘good facts’ is reminding myself of some of the adversity that isn’t … More
On Mindfulness, the dangers…
I’ve observed at a drop in mindfulness group I used to go to that some severely anxious people who came … More
Finding the still Centre
I’ve been taking some steps to increase my resilience to stress recently. I have had to or suffer! Life has … More
Wishes of Others or Mine?
When to put my own feelings aside with the aim of being of service to others? When to listen to … More
How I think, How I Feel
I sometimes have a thought something like ‘ oh everything is chaotic, it’s scary, and I’m barely coping’. I also … More
Being Honest about Fear
I am so tempted to just come right out with the anxiety I experience in public, on social media such … More
The Gift of Opening up to Others
Something quite beautiful happened as a result of my meltdown this week. No longer able to display the coping strong … More
Quiet Poise and Pondering
A glimpse of what stability feels and looks like recently. Smoothness. Not getting in my own way. Allowing the perfection … More
Today’s Process, Resting
‘Resting’ rather than ‘doing’ or ‘trying’ or ‘striving’ to adjust or replace or avoid or cling onto or get rid … More
Choppy Waters again
Paddling round the edges of hell this morning. I am being mentally assaulted and pounded by desires to turn away … More
Hungry Ghosts – Addiction
Today a bit about my personal struggle with unhealthy addictions. I was listening to Tara Brach’s podcast all last week about addictions and … More
Weekend Boozy Train-smash
The weekend started fine. On Saturday a beautiful walk and little picnic with a 10 year girl, walking around in the woods up … More
Suffering some days…
….and not suffering much on other days. I find myself curious about what makes some days harder than others in … More
Learning to Rest with it All 