Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Category: self sabotage
Encounter with Resistance
Thrilled to be noticing how integrated my self talk has become recently. There is barely anything other than positive affirmative … More
Saturday Morning
Blissful spacious love, I surrender into you. I give myself full permission to relax further and further into a backdrop … More
Back to Love
Tired this morning, 4 hours sleep after staying up exceedingly late into the night watching series 5 of the Handmaiden’s … More
Hello again Sadness and Anxiety
How unpredictable life can be ! We never know what life will present us with, or where the next challenge … More
Privileged Abandonment
I was on a course all day yesterday about the damage done to children who are sent to boarding school. … More
Stealing Peace
At times I feel as though I’m ‘stealing’ moments of peace. I don’t trust it fully. It’s like a passing … More
Breaking Free of the Social Shackles
I’m still thinking about how we overall as a society keep each other (and ourselves) retarded and held back in … More
What if Joy is Scary
What if you’re not used to it and it’s a more than a bit scary. Often it’s unconsciously scary and … More
Hello Wellbeing, and welcome :-)
I have experienced a couple of days of heightened wellbeing. I’m consciously allowing it in, and noticing fears and discomforts … More
Being Gentle
And continuing to celebrate the small victories. Small steps every day that are beneficial and healthy to me and to … More
Allowing more Wellbeing in….
If you are not used to it, is not so straightforward or easy to just let more joy, happiness and … More
More sunshine and more anxiety
Just had a walk up the river with the dogs, yesterday it was through the bluebells in the woods with … More
Loving Yourself
Where does the taboo against loving ourselves come from, this belief that it is wrong to have high self esteem? … More
Being in my 50s, making changes, and gently gently
These early to mid 50s – what is happening I often wonder. Why this shake up? And so many seem … More
Overcoming my Limits
This is a MAJOR project I’ve been engaged with for some years. Whenever things are going well in my life, … More
How to be Happy, even if it Scares you.
And this is one big note-to-self here. I feel fear just writing this post. I’m scared of being happy. There, … More
Deserving Wellbeing
A fragment of thought after pondering the resistance I’ve experienced to making positive s subject is huge and requires a … More
On Success
Thought I’d write a list, a sort of check in to the positive things that are happening. I am experiencing … More
Some thoughts on Success and Core Values
I have taken myself from being in receipt of welfare benefits aged 38 to having a thriving business that has … More
Fulfilment, purpose, belonging, contact, joy, engagement with life
I just started off about to write how lacking I am in these things. Then I realised I actually have … More
Help is Available
I have two life coaches at the moment, a therapist and an occasional mindfulness coach. What has happened over the … More
Travel to the wild coast
A bit of geographical movement helped to shift the mood last week. I took myself and a friend’s delightful 16 … More
An Admission to Myself
After all my work on consciously being aware of self sabotage, I had to admit that all this year I … More
The Attraction of not doing TOO well.
‘TOO well’ What does that mean? It means going near or beyond the inner limit of ‘doing well’ that we … More
Self sabotage to a Healthy Choices
How is it that am I enjoying and managing to sustain this new exercise regime, and healthy eating, and being generally … More
Choppy Waters again
Paddling round the edges of hell this morning. I am being mentally assaulted and pounded by desires to turn away … More
Sameness
Getting to accept this stability, calmness, quiet, aloneness. Drama will appear no doubt, but for now it is lacking though … More
Hungry Ghosts – Addiction
Today a bit about my personal struggle with unhealthy addictions. I was listening to Tara Brach’s podcast all last week about addictions and … More
Weekend Boozy Train-smash
The weekend started fine. On Saturday a beautiful walk and little picnic with a 10 year girl, walking around in the woods up … More
Suffering some days…
….and not suffering much on other days. I find myself curious about what makes some days harder than others in … More
Fear of Freedom
Self sabotage has also been described as the ‘regressive pull’. The little scared self wants to return to familiar territory … More
Mr.Self Sabotage – Hello Again
Not by getting drunk and ill with it this time, but I bit a nail right down till it is … More
Damn, did it Again!
Yes self sabotage. I had a particularly good day yesterday, an old friend visited, we walked down to a restaurant … More
Kickback
After that marvellous breakthrough, then came the self sabotage last night. Yesterday I was still highly enjoying an anxiety free, … More
Towards Feeling Safe
A whole weekend lies ahead and I have just about nothing planned, other than enjoying freedom and spending quality time. … More
Learning to Value ourselves
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has … More
Do we Get what we Feel we Deserve?
This is my experience of life so far. In the past when my level of self compassion and love was … More
Making Space for The Way
“For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them“. Thich Nhat … More
Self Love Vs Self Sabotage
These two are having a juicy war inside me at the moment. The more I love myself and open to allowing … More
Doing some work on Self Sabotage
This week I have been right in it and now it is time to gather up the beliefs that have … More
Learning to Rest with it All 