Intangible anxiety for an hour on awaking. Not a single thing in the daily life that would justify anxiety at … More
Category: fear of success
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Luxury Waking Up
The experience of awaking this morning was delightful. As soon as I realised I was awake I started saying a … More
Smoothness
Ease of being the last while. Not wanting much I notice and that seems to be a secret of well-being. … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
Business Tasks and Procrastination – Part 1
I had an odd realisation that I want to explore in the name of honesty with myself. It is a … More
Honesty Dose
I want to put these down before my ego, which doesn’t like remembering these kind of uncomfortable things, shuts it … More
Actually doing it
Not only reading about it and watching YouTube videos about it….. Being here and now this. very. second. I am … More
Chat with an Enlightened Person
And they would say there is no person and all of us were never not enlightened. The Marc Leavitt conversations … More
Choosing to Let Life go Well
I was lying in bed this morning, no need to get up, no need to do anything other than enjoy … More
Stealing Peace
At times I feel as though I’m ‘stealing’ moments of peace. I don’t trust it fully. It’s like a passing … More
A Different Today
Every day is so very different. It’s almost like a brand new life starting all over. “How fabulous, happy and … More
Jittery Edge Territory
Circling the edges surrounding the new unexplored territory and physically experiencing the jitters. Joyful jitters though, excitement and anticipation of … More
A Moment of Grace
I was pondering in a moment of appreciation, that this is a period of relative peace inside. A sense of … More
Short Wise Quote – Gay Hendricks
“I had been resisting reality all my life—resisting facing it, resisting accepting it, resisting feeling it. Whenever I would have … More
Enlightened Mentor
I had my second session last night. I had been making big leaps and bounds out of my shackles into … More
Opening up to and Allowing the Love in
This week I have had several powerful opportunities to receive love. I’ve watched my openness to this, and I expected … More
Imagined fear
In my dream last night I was high up on a ladder. I was 100s of metres up and approaching … More
Facing the fear of not Interpreting
To face the fear of not interpreting and stay with the experience is a big beautiful ongoing lesson for me. … More
Trying to Avoid Pain
How timid I’ve been about feeling emotional pain. I have spent decades trying to control my environment so that I … More
Hard weather
Literally, it’s been pouring and blowing a gale with only minor breaks for weeks and weeks, unrelenting. What a metaphor … More
What if Joy is Scary
What if you’re not used to it and it’s a more than a bit scary. Often it’s unconsciously scary and … More
Welcoming Joy
I’ve been experiencing stability, relative calmness and waves of happiness recently. Life is going well and I’m experiencing a moment … More
Gratitude – An Unexpected Bonus
Yes cultivating a habit of gratitude makes us feel great, a whole lot less moany, way more focused on what … More
Befriending Resistance
I’m used to viewing the resistance to allowing more joy, love, abundance into in my life in a somewhat pejorative … More
You Get What you Feel you Deserve
And that doesn’t apply to being struck by a random childhood disease and the likes. I have noticed how challenging … More
Allowing more Wellbeing in….
If you are not used to it, is not so straightforward or easy to just let more joy, happiness and … More
My Journey from Unworthy to Worthy
This has been the focus for the last week or two. Realising that as a result of some beliefs I … More
Loving Yourself
Where does the taboo against loving ourselves come from, this belief that it is wrong to have high self esteem? … More
Being in my 50s, making changes, and gently gently
These early to mid 50s – what is happening I often wonder. Why this shake up? And so many seem … More
Overcoming my Limits
This is a MAJOR project I’ve been engaged with for some years. Whenever things are going well in my life, … More
How to be Happy, even if it Scares you.
And this is one big note-to-self here. I feel fear just writing this post. I’m scared of being happy. There, … More
Learning to feel Safe
Over the last 5 years my relationship with myself has improved enormously. I am learning to become a good friend … More
On Success
Thought I’d write a list, a sort of check in to the positive things that are happening. I am experiencing … More
Having an Upturn
It is lovely when the sun shines physically and metaphorically in life, both of which are happening right now in … More
Happy Birthday Me!
Yes it is today. And its a sunny morning, the birds are singing and its spring. So much to be … More
Dare to Wish
To wish for myself and intend the very best that life has to offer. I went to a goals course … More
Coaching Session
I looked up an old coach I had from about 4 years ago, and it was SUCH a positive experience. … More
Listening to Feelings
I am gradually designing my life to be full of what I love to do and what makes me happy, … More
Fulfilment, purpose, belonging, contact, joy, engagement with life
I just started off about to write how lacking I am in these things. Then I realised I actually have … More
Yesterday’s Review
So yesterday brought a new client, a visit to one team, a design of a courtyard garden here, a visit … More
Snakes and Ladders!
Another meltdown! So many things going wrong right now in business. Its like a game of snakes and ladders. Mostly … More
Help is Available
I have two life coaches at the moment, a therapist and an occasional mindfulness coach. What has happened over the … More
What do I want?
I need to write more today, I’ve got stuff to process. Change is on its way, and I need to … More
Feeling Lost
It seems like everything is crumbling around me. I feel fear. Got a client suing me and it’s been a … More
The Attraction of not doing TOO well.
‘TOO well’ What does that mean? It means going near or beyond the inner limit of ‘doing well’ that we … More
Choppy Waters again
Paddling round the edges of hell this morning. I am being mentally assaulted and pounded by desires to turn away … More
Weekend Boozy Train-smash
The weekend started fine. On Saturday a beautiful walk and little picnic with a 10 year girl, walking around in the woods up … More
Fear of Freedom
Self sabotage has also been described as the ‘regressive pull’. The little scared self wants to return to familiar territory … More
Mr.Self Sabotage – Hello Again
Not by getting drunk and ill with it this time, but I bit a nail right down till it is … More
What is Behind my Self Sabotage?
In response to Tiramit’s question in the comments of a previous post, I will have a closer look at this … More
Mindfulness changes Everything
I was describing to a friend yesterday the changes I experienced when I started practising mindfulness regularly about 5 years … More
Loss, Gratitude and New Beginnings
Happy New Year to you. This morning in bed I thanked my miraculous body for its service to me. I … More
Feeling powerful and vulnerable
I am feeling vulnerable. Feeling alone, not having much direction, and the dog is going to doggy heaven probably this week, or … More
Learning to Value ourselves
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has … More
Do we Get what we Feel we Deserve?
This is my experience of life so far. In the past when my level of self compassion and love was … More
Fear of Success
I awoke this morning with an underlying sense of anxiety. Success is beckoning, peace and prosperity and I have the heebie jeebies! … More