The fear of relaxing has been coming up a lot, based I think on the untrue belief that if I … More
Category: ego
Magic of Nature
The day’s variables were too complex and uncertain for my mind to try to work out so I just let … More
Relaxing the Resistance
Relaxed the resistance a few notches and then find that solutions appear. With a lot of help which I asked … More
May Reality Guide my every Thought…
…and Truth be the master of my life. Feeling slightly on edge still and thinking perhaps it’s time to turn … More
Love to the Inner Child in Us
I enjoy being awake in bed between about 5am to 7am, especially during these dark winter days. Several cups of … More
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Encounter with Resistance
Thrilled to be noticing how integrated my self talk has become recently. There is barely anything other than positive affirmative … More
Some Laughter
Lot of fun yesterday, first with a client with whom a very direct, humorous and trusting relationship has developed. And … More
Handing over Objections
Playing with the order of positive self soothing affirmations this morning. I have been introducing this manner of of talking … More
Back out of It
As of yesterday, another project is more or less arranged for the men to move onto. I bounce out of … More
Angst
Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More
Undoings
Feeling low this morning. Yesterday I had a magnificent woodland walk, lunch at the park cafe….and saw the men on … More
Friday Ponderings
A little follow on from yesterdays musings… “People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is … More
Navigating Feelings and Thoughts
Windy wet start out there this morning. Dog curled up happy beside me. Nearly always open and happy she is, … More
Half Full/Half Empty
The half full perspective. It’s a beautiful sunny morning here. The men all have work and a job lined up … More
Not Scared
‘The Force’ is playing a game of brinkmanship it seems, it’s really ‘me’ though – maybe I’m testing resilience against … More
Enlightenment, what is it?
Another ordinary day with its guest star ⭐️ beauty ⭐️ present much of the time yesterday. Went to the park … More
Dissecting Dreams
Thank you to my body for the 8 hours sleep, what a joy. I was so so relaxed and comfy … More
Shadow work by Dream
Dreamt I was back in an office after 3 or 4 days off. I was asked by some colleagues if … More
Dark Night Cont…
What a drama it all is right now. Still in this trial of a time, and this fear is in … More
Worry Thoughts
The more I practice dropping into the feelings in the body, the more pain I uncover. There’s a whole lineup … More
Overload
Feeling quite stressed. Do I know what that is about, well yes I do. This whole process of facing and … More
Testing back into Unchanging Stillness
I have two clients to see this morning. It is always a great way to start the day, being useful. … More
Honesty Dose
I want to put these down before my ego, which doesn’t like remembering these kind of uncomfortable things, shuts it … More
Resting and Adjusting
Was able to articulate a little better what is being experienced when I was with M. Something about his energy … More
Defending a Position
Day 4 of this headache! and feeling quite worn down and mostly want to lie down a lot. It has … More
Facing the Disturbing Stuff
Thought it’s about time I just allow the noises from upstairs to take place without putting music on every time … More
Starving thoughts of Attention
Back at the kitchen table. Another sunny one and quite a lot on today, relatively speaking. A new client at … More
Processing about of Self Judging
Here sitting at the kitchen table right now, where real life happens through the senses in this present as it … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Ebbs and Struggles
Third day of this migraine. Headache just humming away in the background. Not that sore but draining. Starts up again … More
Transcendental Smell
There’s a certain smell that arises in the morning air after a long rain, when the moisture and temperature conditions … More
Actually doing it
Not only reading about it and watching YouTube videos about it….. Being here and now this. very. second. I am … More
Drop the thought. All is well.
Strange night in and out of sleep. Not sure what the what is going on. Lot of blankness it seems, … More
Ego Games
Sunshine outside, and listening to Nisargadatta being read, and it is sublime. This one will be on repeat over and … More
Jumpy This Morning
Thursday. There’s a lot of this happening during this opening/awakening situation I’m in, disturbances and sufferings are way more noticeable … More
A Day in the Life – Wednesday
Not sure what this recording of daily detail is about here. Other than I feel chatty sometimes and I also … More
An Anxiety Visit
This happens fairly regularly these days as I go deeper into trust. And it seems to be cyclic following a … More
Arising Stuff – Recapitulation
Long one today…more of a personal diary entry on the childhood recapitulation and letting go trail. They keep arriving – … More
Free of ‘Me’
I’m so very grateful to these directly felt experiences of how beautiful life can be. Right now everything feels perfect … More
Jittery Edge Territory
Circling the edges surrounding the new unexplored territory and physically experiencing the jitters. Joyful jitters though, excitement and anticipation of … More
Breaking free of the Social Shackles Continued
I have been exploring how we can be held back by others and motivated to hold ourselves back by our … More
Untangling Obstructions
With the quiet patience of few expectations this last week has been one of resting, simplicity and a chance to … More
Collapsing the Stickman
When I allow thoughts to arrive unnoticed, my mind can build them into little stories in my head that I … More
Chased by a Hive of Wasps!
Never a dull moment here in suburbia. Out for a walk yesterday I disturbed a hive of wasps in a … More
Faith, Trust, and Surrender
Still here deep in the folds of the current cycle – my little dark night of the soul raging away, … More
Navigating a Balanced way
From dancing with joy in the woods in the rain the other day to a slump in mood and a … More
Long Wise Quote
“The everyday practice of dzogchen is simply to develop a complete carefree acceptance, an openness to all situations without limit. … More
Opening and Closing
To not close my heart and to instead remain open (and free). That sums it all up. The Mission. I … More
Emotion from the Past
I went for one walk with Michael, a beautiful open sharing interaction and he even apologised for the anger outbursts/ending … More
Adjusting to Acceptance
My surrender experiment continues here, giving up my objections, the desire to change things to suit the ego’s dictates, the … More
Happiness up, Anxiety down
Largely as a result of taking my ego on, taking a stand and not adjusting the world to make it … More
Learning to Rest with it All 