I had a sense/vision of myself in the future. I was dead and it was a post death ‘life review’. … More
Category: dread
Handshake with Feelings
Miraculously I did find a place of peace inside yesterday. I thought I was going to melt with all that … More
Tension Building
Out the door at 7am with the dog for a short walk. Awake at 4Am. Today too anxious to be … More
Sluggish Start
So this post started in one mood and ended in a completely altered one after I interacted in a positive … More
Thank you for Enchantment
Even when a whole lot else is going on there’s always wonder and curiosity and enchantment and magic all around. … More
Lowness
Been curious about this mood of malaise that has been here over the last days and week in particular. I … More
My Journey with Barry
Not very interesting reading about other people dreams and this is kind of a sad post, but I want to … More
Still in Worry
This is what the iChing said to me earlier Transcending the entire situation = turning away to attend to higher … More
Love to the Inner Child in Us
I enjoy being awake in bed between about 5am to 7am, especially during these dark winter days. Several cups of … More
Secret business stresses
I just need to get this all out, mostly business related. Secret because I don’t share this much with anyone, … More
Facing Reactivity
Bang bang bang…all that surrendering to love then back ‘in it’. Triggered on several fronts. Hello again reactivity. It rained … More
Imagination and Suffering
A visitation from emotional pain. Goodness gracious, what a level of suffering I went into yesterday. Succumbed to worries about … More
Pausing and Allowing
Saw an otter yesterday in the river just after I had a strong inner prompting to slow right down to … More
Fearlessness Training
The kickback comes as a training exercise. Fearlessness is bathed in and then, anything fearful inside arises. The mere hint … More
Angst
Back ‘in it’ again. Not exactly a ‘dark night of the soul’ level but anxious a lot. I wasn’t able … More
Navigating Feelings and Thoughts
Windy wet start out there this morning. Dog curled up happy beside me. Nearly always open and happy she is, … More
Sitting back inside
Been practicing and practicing through the night whenever I surface and this morning when I awoke and dropped off and … More
Congratulations to Me
Lying here in the immense heat of the hottest day on record in the U.K. 28 degrees C or 83F … More
Back Here
My 3 months of this long job is drawing to a close. It has been a joy not to have … More
Short Wise Quote from Rick Hanson
“Our ancestors could make two kinds of mistakes: (1) thinking there was a tiger in the bushes when there wasn’t … More
Noticing and Dissolving Fears
Some fear and dread appeared again this morning, I could feel the sensation of the constriction in the throat and … More
Shadow work by Dream
Dreamt I was back in an office after 3 or 4 days off. I was asked by some colleagues if … More
Dark Night Cont…
What a drama it all is right now. Still in this trial of a time, and this fear is in … More
Praying, Nature and Anxiety
Still been waking up with these worry thoughts that create anxiety if I don’t notice them, which I’m not managing … More
Gratitude Balm
Further in I go, a feeling of falling and of desolation of hope – no less 😂 oh I do … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
Business Tasks and Procrastination – Part 1
I had an odd realisation that I want to explore in the name of honesty with myself. It is a … More
Defending a Position
Day 4 of this headache! and feeling quite worn down and mostly want to lie down a lot. It has … More
Low Mood Morning
The colourful visual zigzags started yesterday signalling the start of a migraine and then it arrived. Mildly painful only but … More
“Stop being jerked like a puppet”. Marcus Aurelius
I watch myself being jerked like a puppet by events in my environment that my ego has decided ‘should’ not … More
Criticising, company, appreciation….
Slept from 9pm till 6am, and feel well for it. Yesterday morning I took one of the men to work. … More
Being Swept Along
I keep getting this recurring sense that I am not making all this happen. And that instead it is best … More
Processing a Fear Visitor
In came surges of quite intense raw anxiety as I lay expecting to be comfortably drifting in and out of … More
Connecting with Difficult Feelings
The body is the secret. What is being felt right now in this very moment? How do I know how … More
Shadow work
Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More
Stealing Peace
At times I feel as though I’m ‘stealing’ moments of peace. I don’t trust it fully. It’s like a passing … More
Strange World out There
Today. It’s 8am and I’m at the kitchen table, lovely long sleep as usual. Refreshed and ready for a brand … More
Letting go of Anxiety
By feeling it. Fully. And relaxing with it. The fear is that if we allow uncomfortable feelings to be felt, … More
Wave of Fear
One arrived this morning. ‘Shouldn’t you be worried about something, you might be forgetting something really important?” A thought suggested. … More
Adversity as a Friend
One of the most exciting discoveries of the last couple of turbulent years for me is that personal adversity can … More
Worry Hijack Dissected
I’ve been communicating about and celebrating my successes here lately so here’s an example of different type of success, a … More
And this Beauty
Want to share this further reply with you as it’s another one full of beautiful wisdom for getting through the … More
Surrender Experiment – Day 3 Reflections
I’ve had 2 days of doing my surrender experiment now, and I’m delighted to say that I have managed to … More
Maintaining life during Covid
On this rollercoaster of acclimatising to Covid I’m experiencing very vivid intense dreams, leaving me baffled and emotionally hungover in … More
Trusting Yourself
Quite often a strong inner prompting suggests a course of action that is contrary to the one we have made … More
Daily Vicissitudes
Was awoken prematurely mid dream by the dog needing out, a brain foggy start. I remembered the dream and in … More
Riding Worry
I ride the potentially fear producing thoughts these days with greater ease than before. This is what I do. ‘Oh … More
Bit of a diary entry this one
Don’t expect anyone to read it as it’s long and a splurging out of troubles. Just need to express how … More
Thoughts effect our Feelings
I was walking along in the park and I noticed a sharp drop in my mood. Then I realised that … More
Finding the still Centre
I’ve been taking some steps to increase my resilience to stress recently. I have had to or suffer! Life has … More
Horrible
So I went to see a client, saw how badly my man had finished her job, she didn’t pay me … More
In Anxiety I’m Scared of Everything
I wanted to mention this because I don’t think I did while in the state I was in last week. … More
Awoke feeling stress
How is that bloody possible after 2 chilled days and a great sleep?! not sure why at all. Woke up … More
Being Honest about Fear
I am so tempted to just come right out with the anxiety I experience in public, on social media such … More
Weekend Boozy Train-smash
The weekend started fine. On Saturday a beautiful walk and little picnic with a 10 year girl, walking around in the woods up … More
“Delight is a secret. And the secret is this…”
“Delight is a secret. And the secret is this: to grow quiet and listen; to stop thinking, stop moving, almost … More
Fear of Feeling
I am learning to ‘be with myself’ and through this practice, to be at ease. The wise kind parent self, … More
A Clearing in the Clouds
I awoke today early, and much to my amazement, after days of seemingly uncontrollable anxiety provoking thoughts, I seemed to … More
Feels like Groundhog Day here
I am in a energy slump at the moment, not energised or inspired, just getting through each day as best … More
Mindfulness changes Everything
I was describing to a friend yesterday the changes I experienced when I started practising mindfulness regularly about 5 years … More
Learning to Rest with it All 