I’ve got a crow pal who has befriended me in the park. Recognisable by a few white feathers. As soon … More
Category: Conditioning
The Choice
I talk kindly to myself. Here we are in this moment. Breathing in and out from the belly. Notice the … More
Shame
Trigger warning – this post about shame may be triggering for some to read, so please tread with caution. I … More
Learning to Rest in Awareness
Being awake in bed and just being for a while. Not doing anything. Not picking up the iPad. No rush … More
Navigating Feelings and Thoughts
Windy wet start out there this morning. Dog curled up happy beside me. Nearly always open and happy she is, … More
Enlightenment, what is it?
Another ordinary day with its guest star ⭐️ beauty ⭐️ present much of the time yesterday. Went to the park … More
Sitting back inside
Been practicing and practicing through the night whenever I surface and this morning when I awoke and dropped off and … More
Old Patterns
Checking in early today with some anxiety as I awoke out of a stress producing dream, that must have stirred … More
Letting go
Good wildlife watching the last few days out in the park. I saw a large buzzard landing in the crows’ … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
Day to Day Life
It’s a rainy windy one out there today. Been a very rainy month but the greenery is so lush as … More
Self Doubt, Self Confidence
No headache today and it’s my birthday. Woohoo. Got dinner tonight with 2 friends at their place. Did the usual … More
Privileged Abandonment
I was on a course all day yesterday about the damage done to children who are sent to boarding school. … More
“Stop being jerked like a puppet”. Marcus Aurelius
I watch myself being jerked like a puppet by events in my environment that my ego has decided ‘should’ not … More
Monday Mornin’ Rain
Awoke not well rested, an odd sleep again full of vivid dreams. In one a friend had sacked their nanny … More
Dip of a Morning
Not sure why. It was a stressful day yesterday with more minor bad news from another project – easy to … More
Starving thoughts of Attention
Back at the kitchen table. Another sunny one and quite a lot on today, relatively speaking. A new client at … More
Waking up in Heaven
Awaking early I become aware of the exquisite pleasure of the body within folds of fresh brushed cotton bedding. The … More
Into and Through Suffering
Yesterday turned out to be unexpectedly social. I was glad for the company on what was an odd, out of … More
Letting Go
I’m struggling today, migraine started yesterday and lying on the sofa now. Feeling low energy and mood. Can’t find anything … More
Learning to Rest with it All
And each apparent failure to do that is not a failure. Lying in bed waking, dipping in and out of … More
Asking for Help
4 hours in the sunshine and birdsong at the allotment yesterday. Was good to do some physical work and have … More
Face the Fear of not Interpreting….
‘Face the fear of not interpreting and stay with the experience’. I was advised by an anonymous person on a … More
Breaking free of the Social Shackles Continued
I have been exploring how we can be held back by others and motivated to hold ourselves back by our … More
Savouring
I’m savouring my positive happy experiences more and more these days as I realise the huge importance of learning to … More
Short Wise Quote – Gay Hendricks
“I had been resisting reality all my life—resisting facing it, resisting accepting it, resisting feeling it. Whenever I would have … More
Took a Risk
Quite a big one for me with my conditioning to please others. Risking another’s wrath. And experiencing the fall out … More
The World is a Feeling
I feel the leaves gentle float through the air to the ground, the crows high in the tree roosting, the … More
Normalising vulnerability
Watching therapists share with each other on the CBT course helped to further normalise talking about subjects that would usually … More
Hard weather
Literally, it’s been pouring and blowing a gale with only minor breaks for weeks and weeks, unrelenting. What a metaphor … More
Attachment styles
I had a dream last night about M. I was in love and longing for my ex to embrace with … More
Lowering Expectations
This has been a challenging process for me. As a person addicted to optimism and a delight of imagining that … More
A Desire to Impress others
I noticed a thought that I felt embarrassed to witness this morning. The thought was, ‘I hope she notices how … More
Reframing the Past
I have written a lot about the less than ideal aspects of my past and their effect on me. Looking … More
The Resistance
It arrives like huge waves charging at me at times. It’s been even more insistent since I have become kinder … More
Celebrating Bad things that Haven’t Happened!
Part of reprogramming my mind towards noticing more ‘good facts’ is reminding myself of some of the adversity that isn’t … More
Loving Yourself
Where does the taboo against loving ourselves come from, this belief that it is wrong to have high self esteem? … More
How to be Happy, even if it Scares you.
And this is one big note-to-self here. I feel fear just writing this post. I’m scared of being happy. There, … More
Mother issues
I went to dinner last night at my mums, and my cousin was there too. I was exhausted after a … More
Self Love Club Update
I attended last night and it was intense. The theme was self acceptance. She got us to write down some … More
Help is Available
I have two life coaches at the moment, a therapist and an occasional mindfulness coach. What has happened over the … More
Going easy on Expectations
Some of the least happy periods I’ve had in my life have been when I’ve expected too much of myself. … More
The Attraction of not doing TOO well.
‘TOO well’ What does that mean? It means going near or beyond the inner limit of ‘doing well’ that we … More
Empty Nest
Bit more personal processing stuff here. It’s a disorientating time with the ongoing dismantling of the ego structures of a … More
Learning to Rest with it All 