Long sleep and no pharmaceuticals required. Good. Though now on two types of antibiotics though to remove the tooth infection. … More
Category: awareness
The Circumstantial I and the Essential I
The ‘Circumstantial I’ – the fluctuating waves on the surface and the ‘Essential I’, the ocean. I’m listening to Eckhart … More
Follow the Joy
Awake at 6ish, and some part was feeling anxious and I had to take action before it was escalated by … More
More Specifics
Awake with tea in bed at 5am again. Love the early to sleep/early to awake cycle I get onto for … More
Scarcity and Abundance
I dance between the two. If I allow myself to be hauled by my mind with its fearful thoughts into … More
Accommodating Stress
Just after 8am and here I sit as my lovely kitchen table with a fire and a cup of tea … More
In the shower noticing
In the shower noticing the feeling of the water spraying on my head, the little rivulets running over the skin, … More
Refuge of the Present
One of the winter time treasures is getting up around 6am into the cold air, going through to the kitchen, … More
May Reality guide my every Thought
Took a big long space yesterday afternoon and evening away from the demands of the world. A therapy client then … More
Into the Body
There was a lot of talk about love and fear yesterday with 2 therapy clients both of whom were experiencing … More
5am
I started this day in such a lovely calm way. Arranging the pillows for sitting up and leaving the light … More
A dream and meaning
Thoughts on the dream below. I watched a couple of videos last night of people who’d had near death experiences … More
‘Oh hello little toes, hello legs’
It was only towards the end of the shower that I realised I hadn’t been really there for the experience. … More
Conversing with Fear
Feeling a bit uptight this morning. Hmmm. Curious about what’s happening. ‘Hello again fear, how it’s going. Anything you want … More
Taking risks, trusting…
The dissolution of individual self, as that happens I am more free to be really myself. Free of fear running … More
Loving everything…
….is the direction this is going. And that is exciting and quite scary too when I think of what I … More
Luxury Waking Up
The experience of awaking this morning was delightful. As soon as I realised I was awake I started saying a … More
Encounter with Resistance
Thrilled to be noticing how integrated my self talk has become recently. There is barely anything other than positive affirmative … More
Surrendering
It’s pouring right now, windy and dark outside. Leaves flying off the trees. Inside it’s still and warm and cosy … More
Updated Positive Self Talk list
I love you I respect you I care about you I want the best for you I appreciate you I … More
Smoothness
Ease of being the last while. Not wanting much I notice and that seems to be a secret of well-being. … More
Flow of Experience
Being carried along by the morning’s experiences Noticing the way the early sunshine beams through the room. Bending down to … More
Navigating Feelings and Thoughts
Windy wet start out there this morning. Dog curled up happy beside me. Nearly always open and happy she is, … More
Not Scared
‘The Force’ is playing a game of brinkmanship it seems, it’s really ‘me’ though – maybe I’m testing resilience against … More
Enlightenment, what is it?
Another ordinary day with its guest star ⭐️ beauty ⭐️ present much of the time yesterday. Went to the park … More
Sitting back inside
Been practicing and practicing through the night whenever I surface and this morning when I awoke and dropped off and … More
Stillness and Flux
The changing dynamic appearances and arisings of life emerge spontaneously within an alive field of open vibrant spaciousness. If there … More
Ground of Being
Collapsing back into the Ground of Being, the unspeakable unknowable which underlies all manifestation….the great unified field of Rigpa….and much … More
Safe and Home
Again this morning, the Gayatri ‘tat savitur varenyam, bargo devasya demahi, diyoyo naprachodyaat’ and peace, peace and more peace. Then … More
Dark Night Cont…
What a drama it all is right now. Still in this trial of a time, and this fear is in … More
Surfacing Core Wounds
I had a long site visit yesterday and extensive chats with the client, the men and tree surgeons about having … More
New Vibe in the Air
Out early today to bathe in the morning sunshine – up the river to the woods and into the field. … More
Being Open and Feeling Low
Being somewhat unravelled, undone and deconstructed just now, I’m not shining my usual note. There’s a low mood visiting and … More
Procrastination Part 2 and Resistance to Happiness
Coming here and writing was a big help yesterday. It is often helpful for clarifying and clearing the mind, and … More
Business Tasks and Procrastination – Part 1
I had an odd realisation that I want to explore in the name of honesty with myself. It is a … More
Dissolving Identity
Everything I ever wanted is already here. I was just watching this video by Angelo DiLullo in bed this morning … More
Honesty Dose
I want to put these down before my ego, which doesn’t like remembering these kind of uncomfortable things, shuts it … More
Self Doubt, Self Confidence
No headache today and it’s my birthday. Woohoo. Got dinner tonight with 2 friends at their place. Did the usual … More
Monday Mornin’ Rain
Awoke not well rested, an odd sleep again full of vivid dreams. In one a friend had sacked their nanny … More
Just this Moment
The hum of the heating, the warmth on the skin, the weight of the body on the seat. I’m breathing … More
Airy Fairyland
Quite enjoyed the MRI scan, even all the loud strange sounds. An hour of imposed meditation. And to be in … More
Waking up in Heaven
Awaking early I become aware of the exquisite pleasure of the body within folds of fresh brushed cotton bedding. The … More
Learning to Rest with it All
And each apparent failure to do that is not a failure. Lying in bed waking, dipping in and out of … More
Actually doing it
Not only reading about it and watching YouTube videos about it….. Being here and now this. very. second. I am … More
Sunday Morning
The rest of the day yesterday was spent deeply absorbed in a spaciousness with very few self referential thoughts appearing. … More
Chat with an Enlightened Person
And they would say there is no person and all of us were never not enlightened. The Marc Leavitt conversations … More
Drop the thought. All is well.
Strange night in and out of sleep. Not sure what the what is going on. Lot of blankness it seems, … More
What Self?
I’ve spent all these years developing and improving this ‘self’ called Susan only to discover that the secret all along … More
Veneration
I don’t know where veneration fits in or if it is the right word. Sounds religious. Or who to write … More
A Little Lightness
Listened to Samaneri Jayasara again into the evening evening and let it run all night long again. 8.23 hours sleep, … More
Shadow work
Sitting by the river alone. That is indeed where I found myself yesterday. Walked up the road over the lane … More
A Day in the Life – Wednesday
Not sure what this recording of daily detail is about here. Other than I feel chatty sometimes and I also … More
Choosing to Let Life go Well
I was lying in bed this morning, no need to get up, no need to do anything other than enjoy … More
Arising Stuff – Recapitulation
Long one today…more of a personal diary entry on the childhood recapitulation and letting go trail. They keep arriving – … More
Free of ‘Me’
I’m so very grateful to these directly felt experiences of how beautiful life can be. Right now everything feels perfect … More
Just Being
I’m making friends with ‘just being’ these days. Dropping much of the mental content and outwards focus and turning towards … More
Trusting Safety
Another day in the life with some of my inner processes. Again written for my future self. Who I imagine … More
And Back to Peace again
Relative peace anyway. My ego is on alert now it knows I’m onto it! I am on this intensive personal … More
Here and Now
The realisation that there is only the present comes in waves. And my mind hates that because there’s nothing for … More
Another Day of Peace
It lasted all day the feeling of at-ease-ness. I had one therapy client then another, some garden business work, then … More
Learning to Rest with it All 