Not Freaking Out

Not exactly delighted but not so overwhelmed as earlier. Intensively doing the handshake with feelings practice which is amazing. It only works when I’m not trying to use it as an antidote. Which is hard as it’s tempting.

Just feeling the pain as it is, as it presents, “oh yes I feel you fear, let me extend a kind hand to you and listen to you”. Let me see what pattern or stuck belief might be there, that has been a little neglected…I might go through the schema sheet and see if there’s a something there….this does seem like a strong repeat pattern I’m on with cash crisis.

Saw a completely inappropriate garden client but one that M and the guys can do if I don’t get work lined up to keep them going. So passed that to him. A stop gap.

Then had 3/4 an hour on the phone with the accountant. This was both reassuring and alarming. The latter in the sense that I was facing real unattractive consequences should I not pull this off. It was helpful. She also gave context in that most of her business clients are suffering greatly due to covid. We talked about selling too. Options appearing.

A little walk round a walled garden, a drive, shopping, cooking, and actually ate something for the first time in a while.

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