I love you, I appreciate you, I value you….


Said a few times gently with a hand on the chest, while generating kindness and compassion….after a deep breath.

Change of routine this whole week, before even brushing hair, it’s straight out into the morning air. This morning – the ecstasy, it was almost unbearable. That first smell of early slight chilled freshness. I savoured it. Swam through it up the lane breathing it in.

Another great thing about having a dog.

Would I be throwing on clothes and getting out there for a walk without having a dog to enjoy it through?

I doubt it very much. I share in the dog’s joy, I share in it’s dopamine hit. It absolutely adores going out, it squeals with delight at the sight of me putting on boots and reaching for a jacket…..out goes to smell things, use it’s body, run a bit, look about, have it’s toilet experience, use the senses and explore…..

For the first time probably ever I was in bed at 6.30pm last night and asleep by 6.40pm. Just floored. Awoke again for a few hours, then back to sleep till 7am. Maybe having this infection in the body…..I saw the dentist yesterday who gave me antibiotics and a root canal appointment a week on Thursday. Fine. Got to be an end to this tooth theme soon I’m pretty sure…it’s still sore, better now after the poison got out.

Before bed was a delightful 2 hours in the park with E. Depth of chat, nature, exercise, enjoyable treat of a life experience. We talked a lot about breathing.

How conscious breathing drops the centre of gravity to a lower place into feeling, into body wisdom. (He is a qualified breath worker for the last 20 years).

I do wonder if some work needs to be done first though. If there’s a lot of fear it isn’t so accessible to be in the body and feeling the feelings if there are a lot of disturbing ones wanting attention. Note to self- what works and is beneficial to me, may not be for my therapy clients, not yet anyway.

Before that I was in Edinburgh having deep chats with my garden client and saying hi to the men. 3/4 of the way through that projects. I’m pricing the next one….keeping the momentum going. Still surprisingly few new garden enquiries for the time of year. Whatever will be, will be…

Little bit of interaction with son T yesterday. I try and stay off the concerned mother juice, but succumb at times. It’s better to trust him for all sorts of reasons.

Have half an hour till my next therapy client. Always feels like that time is my own precious time, then I ‘belong’ to someone else. Even though I enjoy it thoroughly.

I’m loving myself more than ever now. How it changes one’s whole relationship to everything for the better is a secret that needs to be let out and told. Why is it even a secret?

Here’s the list again.

I just go to the third one in each row.

Hand on chest area, deep breath into the lower abdomen and just choose a few phrases that resonate or at least don’t jar, and repeat till it goes in. And asking for help is a wonderful action which I’m doing more often these days.

I want to learn to like you – I am learning to like you – I like you

I want to learn to love you – I’m learning to love you – I love you

I want to be here for you – I’m learning to be here for you – I’m here for you

I want to respect you – I am learning to respect you – I respect you

I want to care for you – I am learning to care for you – I care about you

I want to appreciate you – I am learning to appreciate you – I appreciate you

I want to value you more – I am learning to value you more – I value you

I want to have more trust in you – I am learning to trust you – I trust you

I want to learn to be here for you – I am learning to be here with you – I am here with you

I want to support you more – I am learning to support you – I support you

I want to learn that I am lovable – I am learning that I am lovable – I am lovable

I want to feel good enough – I am learning to feel good enough – I am good enough

I want to learn to be kinder to myself – I am learning to be kinder to myself – I am kind toward myself

I want to learn to accept myself – I am learning to accept myself – I accept myself

I want to learn to like myself – I am learning to like myself – I like myself

I want to learn to love myself – I am learning to love myself – I love myself

I want to learn to value myself – I am learning to value myself – I value myself

I want to learn to trust myself – I am learning to trust myself – I trust myself

I want to learn to support myself – I am learning to support myself – I support myself

I want to learn to be a friend to myself – I am learning to be a friend to myself – I am a good friend to myself

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