Highs, and are they even Lows

Kind of knocked sideways or something with this tooth pain going on still. Though I don’t think anything about it too, it’s just something happening right now. Managing to see my therapy clients…one late in the afternoon yesterday. A deep guy and pressing forward with the message of loving and embracing himself. Note to self- I interrupt him quite a lot. Stop that.

So we had a delightful first Eckhart Tolle Book Club meeting with my garden client and her friend last night for an hour. A new Monday night social date, just perfect. We read in turns sections of the book and we discuss after, love it.

In the afternoon yesterday I went over to the allotment in the rain and started making it lovely in the little summerhouse shed. Did some spray stencils on the walls. I fed the birds and watched some beautiful specimens arrive including a nuthatch pair.

A new therapy client happened to call while I was sitting there, with very intense bereavement pain. I was able to just let her talk and listen and I booked her in for regular sessions at the weekend. Came through a recommendation from another client which is good to hear.

Sleeps still very broken, when the painkiller wears off the tooth acts up and I awake. Yesterday evening yellow poison stuff started coming out of my gum which explains why the toothache has been so sore, it’s an abscess. So that has been building up inside. Got an emergency appointment today, but it’s only a 10 minute slot. Prob give me antibiotics.

Working on the next project with a view to that going ahead, and not over or under pricing it…been getting the material costs from suppliers. Cleared out financially this week with paying supplier bills. Feel indifferent to all that really. Is what it is. Like my tooth. Like the rainy weather. The leg pain. Doesn’t matter. This is life happening right now. All happening with a backdrop of this is all a bit of a bloomin miracle isn’t it!

I sing to the dog and tell her often that I love you Elsa, then I say I love you Susan, then I say I love us both. In a slightly fun and exuberant tone of voice. And sometimes I say you’re so beautiful and perfect Elsa, then you’re so beautiful and perfect Susan, then it’s we are so beautiful and perfect. Aren’t you so lovely, I’m so lovely, we are so lovely.

Why not!

Use every single opportunity to remove the deficiency story. To dissolve guilt and sin and self rejection of all flavours. To embrace fully without any resistance to love flowing. Towards myself, towards anything.

We are waking up proper now. I saw that with the two women I was with last night. They were also right there waking up us all together. It was so helpful, to be with others…as we now have to orientate ourselves with the surrounding happenings.

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