Such a deep communion with my therapy client yesterday morning. (Note to self- watch out for using the clients to fulfil that need in yourself for deep connection.) I shared with her the orienting from the chest/heart/abdomen location in the body, as opposed to the usual head/mind place behind the eyes. It’s incredible how these ideas can be shared and developed with some people. She totally got it I think and was going to set about experimenting and practicing with it. Moving though life’s little experiences orientated from the place in body, sensing and feeling from there.
The key to it is breathing from low down. That is a reminder of where to be, low down. Not the eyes and the mind behind the head.
So what happens is that life is moved through and experienced fully, with little or no thinking. Because one is locating in the body and the feelings that arise are simply allowed to be there. They are noticed, given space, and they arise, get experienced and dissipate.
What used to happen for me is that an uncomfortable feeling arose and it was resisted. A ‘no’ is the response. I don’t want to feel this. Uncomfortable. Don’t like this, no. The mind then gets involved to try and ‘solve it’. What’s this, what’s this…unwanted incoming, this needs sorted….and thoughts get going with reasoning and analysis and a whole big story.
Which just gives birth to more worry thoughts and more uncomfortable feelings, since the mind alerts the amygdala and it reacts with fear. Which just makes it all more of a big deal that it is. The feeling is just a passing energy surge – and the brain is prompted to (as it sees that as it’s job problem solver and prediction machine) fabricate reasons for the anxiety or the sadness or worry or whatever the feeling is.
Instead I can just be with each feeling as it comes….I hang about with it for a while, then goes of it’s own accord without me doing anything at all, except give it space, allow it. Listen. Say hello.
I have been doing a lot of the hand on the chest exercises. Putting a hand on the chest and saying I love you, I’m here for you, you’re safe or if that’s too direct it can just be a statement of intent May I be well, may I be at ease, may I be safe.
So the combination of this soothing and comforting hand on the heart exercise with the kind self talk and the diaphragmatic breathing from low down in the tummy, and the dropping into feelings practice, it has moved my ‘centre of gravity’ down out of the brain and head into the body. Kind of inadvertently so, but it’s very welcome as it a much more grounded way to travel through each day. Feeling it all, less thinking.
I think that all of this works together and there is a little bit of an art to getting the hang of it. The breathing low, the dropping into the feelings the soothing self talk and touch of the hand on the chest…..I’m still learning too.
Yesterday I did a Mother’s Day visit with orchids and wine and told her that I appreciate and I am grateful to her for everything. She told me the same back. It was very pleasant. Then a quick walk by a different river. And back here. Mostly managing toothache as a theme. Taking so much paracetamol and ibuprofen my stomach is not happy about. The pain is low key. Got some Co-codamol from my mum too and that helped.
Had a splendid evening online with my two CBT therapist buddies which was deep and far reaching, satisfying, honest, vulnerable, loving, affectionate empowering and fun.
Then knocked myself out with a diazepam and more painkillers to sleep. Wasn’t a great sleep despite all that. And the dog needed out in the middle of the night too! Can’t go on like this, so made a dentist appointment for to tomorrow morning. I’m going to end up a drug addict if I don’t sort this out or with liver damage from all the paracetamol. My pal last night on the zoom is a doctor and said I’m going over over the safe limit. I can feel it in my stomach.
Today I have sent off the amendments to the cad technicians to draw up. I’ve to get prices for materials and prepare the costing options this week to give to the clients. This mornings therapy client cancelled, had an operation. Got one this afternoon. And then tonight the first Zoom Eckhart Tolle book club meeting with my garden glint and her friend. Interesting crossover.
This is me playing about with Midjourney AI art generator, imagining ideal beautiful worlds.
Learning to Rest with it All 