Relationship with Pain

Lay and lay for an extended time in bed just being and meditating and watching thoughts as they arrived and went. Also consciously dropping my centre of gravity down to the chest and midriff area. Just getting used to ‘coming from’ there, rather than the eyes and brain and head area. It’s making a huge difference to how I am experiencing life. How I am feeling. The insights that come, what I say and a little how I behave. More ‘yes’s’ inside where a ‘no’ may have been the response.

I was more than a touch uneasy going to bed last night, the toothache was screaming pretty loud all day and especially getting worse in the evening….and the broken sleep of the night before still fresh… I swallowed an arsenal of pain relief, ibuprofen, paracetamol, and had a few Irish Cream liqueur drinks, took a sleeping pill and slept nearly 8 hours, absolute heaven. And this morning there was no toothache at all for the first time in over 3 weeks.

I savoured not having toothache for over an hour. It gradually returned though along with the ear pain and headache. Urgh. Let’s see how the day goes. At least the mouth ulcer is shrinking. The deep filling near the nerve has irritated it and if it isn’t gone in a week I’ll probably have to get root treatment. Meantime…

I’ve been in a calm and even cheerful mood recently and I wondered if there is a connection with the pain I’ve been experiencing – that may be releasing pain receive endorphins. And also wondering if I need some pain in my life to be happy! Or stable at least. Maybe I can’t handle everything being fabulous quite yet. Well that’s a possibility, there’s corners of guilt and self rejection still in there somewhere to be brought into the light and loved up. I have pondered on an off the attraction to pain I may have too.

I recommend this book highly. He has it on audible too.


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