Friend N called me by mistake at 3.30am and it’s now at 5.30 still awake. But happily drinking tea and residing here in bed.
(I awoke mid dream about working at Oxford university, upgrading and repairing their historical landscapes, paths etc. I was in a respected position and interacting with the Dean and some other influential person in charge. I didn’t really care about the project or the status of the place. I had some sort of residential set up where I had a room and set about finding my way around. Had to navigate students, find the showers and toilets. With some difficulty. A single toilet in ful view of the showers. Looked around for another. One student was doing medieval embroidery right in the middle of a staircase with her work all laid out and impossible to pass without asking her to move it all. Which seemed a shame as she was using original old threads, but it was clearly an impractical place to be doing it. Another situation trying to find another more private toilet. So found an unused one in some back stone cellar annex that looked blocked up with toilet paper. I flushed it hoping it didn’t overflow, glad nobody was watching too…and it seemed to clear, sort of…didn’t overflow but I reckoned it was safe enough to use. Then was being shown a nearby archeological site full of potential treasures and allowed to wonder around and explore.)
Later. 8am at kitchen table, showered, cup of tea. I had a drive through snow to Edinburgh yesterday and several hours of the deepest sharing of personal and spiritual aspects of living with the garden client. It’s quite astonishing and beautiful to make such a connection. To actually talk of no separation with a client. We talked some garden colours too. Saw the men, little chat…work all going fine. Client invited me to an Eckhart Tolle Power of Now book club she and her friend are starting which I accepted.
Then to the park and unexpectedly bumped into N, lunch outside of courgette soup, and a long walk and what good cheer was in the air. I felt light and loving and expressive and spontaneous. I thank ACIM for restoring me to my right mind. Forgiveness and unity still very present, automatically reducing fear levels. Connected. We sat and chatted and walked some more, in the glorious sunshine, it was a 4 seasons in one day weather experience.
I listened to Gay Hendrick’s audiobook, ‘Learning to Love Yourself’ on my journey back yesterday. That also had a beneficial effect. It’s marvellous and motivational and heart warming. Thank you to him. And reminded me of the action of going into feelings fully rather than turning away from them, no matter how uncomfortable. I notice the sense of release that happens if given enough space and time to allow them to arise and be.
Then after the park back indoors, I did some overdue email replies. One to a current design client, likely our next construction job, sent her the drawings and she loved them, so now to price that. I suppose I could do that today. And meeting them on Friday afternoon to go over the details. Replied to the next design client, gave the price which she accepted, and now to get it surveyed. I charged twice my normal rate, since I’m going to perhaps be doing design only at some point, I’m experimenting to see what I can charge.
Short evening reading, quick chat with my mum…and asleep before 9.30pm. All good. 11am and reading about GPT-4 on the sofa. Bit tired after that broken sleep. Though I’ve been singing made up songs of love to the dog. Maybe it’s a rest day. Still got toothache with that filling so near the nerve and a headache.
Just arranged for new cleaners to come for a deep clean then fortnightly after that. Feels good. Help me stay on top of entropy. I took the dog out already for a quick walk round the block. It’s freezing cold ice about out there, cosy here by the fire under a blanket in the sofa. Turned the heating up too for a treat. Let’s see what The Force wants for today 🙂
Learning to Rest with it All 