The ‘Circumstantial I’ – the fluctuating waves on the surface and the ‘Essential I’, the ocean. I’m listening to Eckhart this morning and learned this new definition.
It’s very helpful, as I see how peaceful I am when circumstances are favourable and how agitated I become when circumstances change. Like when work dries up and I lose my trust and start to worry. Those are waves that come and go. They arise and seem like a huge big calamity on the horizon. I get scared and suffer.
Then they become history and before long I’m back to myself again wondering why I keep getting so anxious and upset by passing circumstances. Over and over and over.
The whole mission here for me is to be rooted in the ocean of the essential I, the spacious light of peaceful awakeness, always unchanging no matter what is happening in the circumstances of life.
That’s more or less the tussle and battle that is laid out on these pages. Learning to be in presence then being derailed when circumstances evoke fear, back into the circumstantial self, then recovery of connection to the essential self. The real us.
Right now I’m connected to my essential self. Power flows in, love is felt, creativity naturally arises. It’s silent, soft and peaceful. It’s easy when circumstances are harmonious.
Had a session with a client first thing, then lovely trip to edinburgh yesterday, and the client invited me to have a delicious lunch with she and her friend in her house. It was friendly small talk. She was about to go and have some cosmetic surgery on her eyelids. Saw the men who all seem happy, they were chatty, and the job is progressing fine. Drove back, had a woodland walk, food shopping then home. Been eating a lot of carbs and fat and have been so tired recently, felt it’s time for more raw veg in the diet so made a stir fry.
I spoke kindly and gently to myself as I awoke this morning. Appreciated the dog’s love filled morning greeting, I sung my daily ‘a-team’ theme tune out loud as I got up, the dog bounded in with joy. I made my bed beautifully and with care. I dressed consciously and in appreciation for the cosy socks that had been warming on the radiator. These small things, a whole series of them done in appreciation bring a simple joyfulness. Now at the kitchen table feeling cosy and relaxed with a cup of tea.
I feel grateful that I am safe right now
For being alive
For the comfortable temperature.
The quietness around me
The nutritious food in the fridge
Instant electricity
Instant hot water
A comfy cushion to sit on
Not feeling any pain and feeling at ease in the body
Saturday morning freedom of time to myself
This iPad and access to so so much information
AI art making
The delightful dog Elsa who is such a great friend
Learning to Rest with it All 