Woke up, sung my usual A-Team theme tune, got dressed and found myself making up a silly song to the dog who wagged her tail with happiness.
Lot of resting going on 8 hours the previous night, a 2 hour sleep on the sofa during the day and then a 7 hour one last night. I love honouring what my body wants to do and appreciate that I have the time and space to. a semi hibernation state seems appropriate too in this dark grey February.
Very little contact with the outside world at the weekends, and this suits the deep dives into finding inner peace. And the resounding realisation that this is it. Moment to moment, this is it. And I am faced with the full impact of ‘not wanting’. Giving up wanting. And the opening of just being with life as it is.
I went for Chinese food last night and in the car waiting for it meditated for 5 or 10 minutes making very deep ‘OM’ sounds, as low as I could get. It was a bit crackly at first then once I got it, it resonated so beautifully through the body. Hands lightly joined at first then half way through separated them as a letting go demonstration to myself. It felt wonderful. I’ve been listening to Abraham Hicks and Eckhart Tolle a lot.
It’s been a further isolating experience, at least from the personality’s perspective. Another arrow back to just being what is.
Also looking into what is happening in the world, curiosity of a spectator. Specifically how certain ideologies that have become a contagion….it’s a big influential wave of aggressive ‘wokeness’ (the irony of that use of the use of that word) confusion sweeping through society. Most friends caught up in it too.
There’s no wisdom or peace to be found in focussing on such matters. What does this mean for me? A little isolating to be not following the herd, and I’m glad I don’t need the agreement of others too. I keep my own counsel about things. No comfort of being part of the group consensus on these and many other matters.
So, what now. Chop wood, fetch water.
From Supermundane by Helena Roerich
“It should not be thought that a broadened consciousness is achieved without struggle. Each one who wishes to serve with Us knows that he will have to endure the assaults of darkness. In words everyone is ready to do this, but in deeds will try to avoid it. Does no one realize that every deviation lengthens his path?
The study of man’s nature will provide direction and broaden the consciousness, and people will sail to Our shores in natural ways, with no need for their former vessels. Let Santana, the current of life, carry the expectant travelers to the new shore.
There are many waiting. Let them learn first about the difficulties of the journey, and clearly understand the fight with darkness. Let them not hope to avoid it. The path to joy cannot be easy.
There will be joy. We shall speak more about joy, but first let us forge the armor of the spirit.”
Learning to Rest with it All 