Thoughts on the dream below. I watched a couple of videos last night of people who’d had near death experiences and they mostly all talked about a similar experience of how happy they instantly became when they died, how completely at ease and safe and how much love they felt, how they didn’t want to come back to their bodies and life here because it was so good. My friend’s experience in the dream was something similar except he hadn’t died.
This morning I’m wondering if those people who have NDEs experience ‘ego’ death, and that’s what’s left of us all when that is shed along with all its beliefs, history, attachments, defences etc. Seems to be borne out by those who describe a permanent spiritual awakening in daily life, like Eckhart Tolle and others. Very ordinary and familiar and just feel more themselves. Which I think is the whole point of being here.
The mistake I made in the dream.
I was conscious yesterday that I am making ‘mistakes’ this week having taken on too much for my brain to handle. Yesterday set out first thing to walk to the garage to collect the car, but spontaneously jumped on a passing bus and realised I don’t know how to pay, and the bus driver is yelling at me, the passengers afraid as Elsa wasn’t on a lead and ran up the bus, then she ran off the bus, then back on as I was trying to work out how you pay. Chaos. He let me stay on as long as I held her collar. Multiple disapproving looks as I walked up the back lol.
Got the car though (passed it’s mot again!) then back here saw a therapy client and Went to the hospital and at great effort and multiple directions from various people I found myself in the wrong building and to discover it was the wrong day, it’s supposed to be today. And that was all before 12! Getting my diary mixed up with client appointments too. So yeah…that must be the mistake with the photos bit.
How do I feel about making mistakes it showed me. Embarrassed, sorry and also accepting that shit happens, certainly very little self chastisement which is good.
And that’s excellent because I am making mistakes this week. Several. Accidentally deleting a client appointment and then double booking and having to resume the original one and move the double booked one. Having to cancel another as I got the day wrong with the hospital. Going there just now. After walking the dog and seeing a client. Too much going on.
Just back from the consultant at the hospital. A next to no danger to me with this interhemispheric aneurism they told me so no treatment required. Took a pic of the screen.
Dream
I’m with Norman and Ewan. Staying in a country estate also a hotel, on an island somewhere like Bute and in the morning room which was now acting as a small restaurant for the guests and we are being served by a waiter and waitress. They also look after the place. We were hearing about the original family during the 20s to the 50s and looking at their photos and their belongings which decorated the room. The husband had some notoriety about something we were talking about and we noticed from a photo he was also and MP which we commented on.
Later we are looking around the place full of antiques, and saw a large pile of very faded photos on a table, you could hardly see what they were they had become so whitened, which was a shame as they contained a valuable record of the family history. I told them about a chemical I’d used to restore some of my photos that they could try. Then I find myself later on after breakfast pouring a chemical over these expecting to see a positive result.
Instead I completely obliterate all remaining detail and the photos were ruined. I am a touch embarrassed, as the photos were ruined now and completely white. I wondered why they had left them out like that when they were irreplaceable. I defended myself inside with a thought they should have looked after them better anyway. At least before my treatment they had some bit of detail though as were had been examining them, it was something rather than the nothing they now have. I felt mildly guilty about it.
I was surprised by my recklessness, wondering why I didn’t try it on one photo first before pouring it on all of them and also not thinking it out more. My own photos were in a very different condition with more detail to pick up which is why the chemical worked for them. It was obvious on hindsight with more thought I’d realise it wouldn’t work. The staff are also a touch annoyed and embarrassed and too polite to show it much. I notice when we return later they have hidden those ruined ones other than a few that escaped the chemical.
The next day at the table Norman is telling us about a profound change and realisation experience he has and is having. His mood much more elevated than usual and said he was reluctant initially to come and was a bit grumpy with himself about agreeing to being there at first then something changed overnight where he realised he discovered how happy he is deep down. He talked about how good he feels realising this for a while and sits back just enjoying the new state. We enjoy it with him.
We talk about the old fashioned service we are getting, and I mention about about a silver service experience I had once and how funny/peculiar the ritual it is.
Then we are all out on a day trip with the trip leader and we notice we are with a crowd of young boys from a school. We wonder what sort of activities we have let ourselves in for that would suit the young boys and us. I notice I’m cold as I left my jacket behind by mistake. Slightly perturbed by that as I don’t like being cold and also that I forget something I don’t usually forget. I decide not to go back for it and to see how it goes. We are in a happy loving state individually and between us and we are very relaxed with whatever is happening.
Then later we are at a busy crowded bus station looking for the bus home, I ask another driver for directions to it. There are many buses all parked up end to end together and we eventually find it tucked back in the far corner.
Learning to Rest with it All 