Hibernation over

I’m gradually emerging from my holiday burrow with a couple of therapy clients then a garden client straight after this morning. Had one therapy client yesterday and one the day before. The men start back at work next week. And I have quite an exciting a garden design to do.

I don’t have much wisdom to to express this morning. I have a touch higher anxiety today despite a wonderful 9pm to 5am sleep. Note to my inner choice maker – to be aware of the thoughts I believe when anxiety is present.

The thoughts come randomly and continually and they are not all true. It’s just a continual commentary. The mind’s opinion of perceived threat is so often inaccurate. Fewer thoughts overall these days though thankfully, now that I’ve learned to settle this nervous system into feeling safer. The mind doesn’t have to get so involved. That brings a peace inside.

I’m noticing a lot of distress around in people I know though and hearing of wider distress in society and I’m effected by it. The Millenials and Zoomers especially. So many effected negatively by the ridiculous and foolish covid mitigation efforts.

Got quite an ominous atmosphere hovering around the periphery of my awareness. Or is that my fears stalking me sneakily. I’m hopeful there’s a leap of awakening going on, yet know that means a lot of disruptive change individually at the very least, and perhaps collectively.

There’s my son and gf who are still here. Off we went to the gorgeous mountains yesterday just an hour from town. Lively deep conversations both ways, including where I went wrong as a mother and the effect it had. I seem to be undisturbed hearing that now. I experience distress hearing of their difficulties, how they use substances to avoid those then have ended up with difficulties with the substances of all sorts. Not heroin or anything. It’s a tactic that is dangerous for them. I have preached self love and shared and listened and they are leaving in a couple of days. Loved having them around, what a joy they are. So honest.

There’s my friend too, S taking full responsibility for her mother with dementia and her dangerously depressed son. Really a lot to handle. She had to call an ambulance the other night and it took 12 hours to come. And that was for a suspected stroke. System buckling.

I’m just watching it and doing what I can to support those I can. It really helps to look after ourselves at this time with so much distress around.

Making lots of AI art, fun and happy and enlightening pictures. Then emerging them with an app then uploading them to Redbubble, then promoting them on Twitter and Pinterest. It’s been fun, and I love starting little enterprises from scratch. Especially if they can bring a little passive income.

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