Doubt. Self doubt. I notice when it arrives. It brings a chill with it, and I either recognise it, name it and let it go or I have a shudder and contract. Had a nip from it in bed earlier. A worry worm. I turn my attention towards trusting the path, the guidance, the larger intelligence system, ultimately myself.
I do wonder if we humans can transcend our egos without lashing ourselves to the mast of the ship of the invisible, the infinite wisdom….the divine. Is it even possible to completely surrender as a materialist? Not sure.
The path can be so terrifying. I don’t think I could have arrived here without trusting in that eternal, invisible and infinite. Even doing that is scary enough for the little ego, but it’s the only way I’ve found to travel further. Consciousness is primary. Not matter. It’s obvious.
Shortly a regular therapy client, a visit to the men on site and to meet E in the park. A new client just booked in too.
It is a spectacularly beautiful frosty clear day.