I’m using the word ‘Self’ to mean the expanded us that knows its unity with all and not as a separate entity, which I’ve spelled the ‘self’.
It been emerging that the effectiveness of practising loving the self is a perhaps simply a means to eliminating the rejection of the Self. It’s a process of allowing full acceptance and so the letting go of the criticism and attacking of ourselves which only exacerbates the sense of self, all alone and so fearful. The ego.
It has always felt a little odd to talk about loving the self. As if it is something separate. That expanded Self doesn’t experience itself as separate, it’s not.
So all these sentences, I love you, I’m here with you, you are loved are all designed to foster a turning towards with love instead of a ‘not good enough’ and cultivating acceptance and to end self rejection. No more abandoning and instead a turning towards.
Feeling expanded again. Reading the Course in Miracles this morning, speaking to a super evolved client about the above….that sense of a small scared self dissolved into an oceanic self.
The most consistently lasting expanded consciousness feeling for a while. Spent the last 3 hours with P and N in the woods and fields and having coffee. We all bumped off each other swept up in glee, well I was! And it was electric, I felt completely utterly let go inside. Laughing a lot, unusual responses, unscripted responses, very happy, not knowing what I’d say, taking risks in the conversation, being really me.
Kept feeling the noticeable lightness of being, so light. I was reminded over and over today of the scene in the Witches of Eastwick where the redhead fell, manages to grab a chandelier and was worried about falling and the other 2 at the side laughed she did too and she floated rather than fell. You saw the transition of her deciding to trust. I always loved that scene. Then they all started floating and laughing.
I did that today many times. Slightly disoriented in the lightness of being, the easy joyfulness. When I felt slightly disoriented I laughed inside like the witches of eastwick. Trust trust! It wasn’t just fleeting. It stayed and stayed and everything seemed different, still does. More noticeable in company though as I could observe my responses easily.
We let ourselves be happy today for 3 hours. I let myself fully be happy. I swallowed P’s complaining all up costly in it, lovingly and very directly, it didn’t stand a chance of bringing the energy down. We were all direct at points.
And now I sit here perfectly at ease at my kitchen table, allowing this feeling to be here.