Business mentor meeting started the day and I’m glad to say I had some progress to report and surprised him that I’d started prepping for a YouTube video. Right into monetisation he went. It is always quite hard to explain (to mostly anybody really) that money and security isn’t and can’t be a focus, it isn’t what excites me. And it’s against my religion to chase it. The money will come.
I enjoy the process of exploring new territory, taking risks, overcoming fears, making something new happen, creating something that is of benefit to the world and also uses my skills in the best way. The world gets helped, I get helped, win win.
Then a long walk and lunch with my friend E. Deep and fun, beautiful day, and and encouraging too. Got some well done’s from him. I say that often enough to myself that I don’t seek encouragement from others now, but it’s pleasant to receive a positive stroke from a fellow human. I’m kind of impressed with myself at the moment, though it’s weirdly not personal. I’m just observing this character taking actions, like an avatar in a computer game passing tests and making advances through the game.
Mostly about dropping the burdens that weigh us down. Those burdens are largely beliefs we carry around about ourselves that are not true. So we end up with an unhealthy relationship with ourselves by attacking ourselves. Let’s stop that!
Got up after 8 this morning. Sleep cycle has slipped round the clock a bit, dropping off a bit later now for some reason. Just going with it for now. Guy upstairs has started coming into the room above later too, so it’s too noisy to sleep anyway. Those floorboards are ridiculously loud. I know it’s my personal exercise and lesson to learn to be non reactive…it’s hard at times though. The anxiety has been higher lately due to doing this YouTube video so that makes me more edgy about it.
Many failures with that recently. Especially since every time they come into whatever room I’m in the dog who can be lying down sleeping, immediately runs out. She is scared and disturbed about the overhead noise for some reason. I feel for her which makes my own reaction worse. Got my eye on an apartment right inside the park and have started putting out feelers though have no idea how or when or even if. It seems to want to happen. I’ve said for years I want to live inside the park, and so I put it out there to the universe a while ago!
Here I am rehearsing reading from the teleprompter and trying to sound natural while videoing myself. Will sort the background and lighting for the final video. Didn’t realise I was so serious when I talk so also practising smiling more!
One thing. I’ve notice that because stepping out of my comfort zone is increasing my awareness of my fears and self consciousness, as an individual little self that is, I’ve noticed I strayed often from that seat of Self that is a much biggest sense of self which contains and is connected to everything. it’s interesting to observe how small that individual sense of self makes me. Temporary though 🙂
Got a new ‘walk and talk’ client shortly in the park. Nice calm day for it.
Learning to Rest with it All 