A walk on the high moors yesterday in this stormy wind and enjoyed being blown about. Unlike me. Lot of things unlike me going on. Little things no bra, no daily eyebrow shaping….Sounds insignificant I know, but these long held habits were actually quite a challenge to let go of. I was attached to the belief Others opinions of me matter. For me to deem myself acceptable, good enough, lovable….and we all are already acceptable, good enough and lovable.
Bigger things too, welcoming happiness consciously, reducing stress by altering habits of worry thinking, letting go of guilt and allowing myself to do nothing, learning to love myself unconditionally.
Being bold and confident with therapy clients, what I say just seems to come out right and automatically. I don’t have a clue how I find these words, they seem to just appear without any thought. The confidence of it surprises me actually. The words come, and it doesn’t seem like they are from me. And I sense their ‘rightness’. Though not 100% of the time. I can get carried away with enthusiasm. And there’s an inner guidance…for example, a felt sense when it is time to stop talking and listen more.
Just had a session with a client and it flowed. Have paid the men and suppliers. Next I’m meeting old friend P for a walk with the dogs. The one that does angry rants and complains that I was direct towards a couple of weeks ago. Let’s see how that goes…many of us seem to be transforming and becoming more aware.
Is there a mass transformation taking place I wonder, an evolutionary leap of consciousness? I arrived at that as a teenager but it could easily be my own projection.
Heating bill came in, jeezo. Never been that high, £230 for the month and that’s with my heating off half the time and before winter cold has really set in. Last year it was on all the time for half that! So I’m taking it as a fun little challenge. Not heating the whole house, just one room since I’m in it almost all the time. been buying nice warm clothes for this.