Another long sleep and bobbing in and out of sleep from the early hours. And again I went through the same exercise as last night.
I started talking lovingly towards myself again. Sending messages of reassurance and kindness. One after the next, the phrases just kept coming out in different combinations. I paused and felt after each one.
I’m here for you
I care about you
You are completely forgiven for any mistakes
I enjoy you
I love you
You are cherished
You are loved Susan
I want the best for you
I’m here with you, you are not alone
I will look after you
I appreciate you
You are lovable
I admire you
You are/I am safe
All is well
I like you
I love myself
You are not alone
I accept you
I love you unconditionally
I like you
I had done this exercise the previous night too and it positively coloured the whole day yesterday.
I had my reserves filled up by it and had some extra love to give.
I texted an old friend and told him I was thinking of him and sending love. He thanked me and said he appreciated the text. To my son too. Visited my mum. The energy of the day was cheerful.
I had the energy and motivation to take myself and the dog on a little multi leg treat of a countryside outing. First to see the beautiful Amanita muscaria mushrooms in the countryside. That was a thrilling joy. Then to a deep steep gorge I know carpeted in pine trees and Wood Sorrel and we walked down to see the thundering river. And then to Greenbank Garden, where I had a walk through the woods round the walled garden, and then delightful soup outside along with several enjoyable social encounters.
The message of loving ourselves came across strong and clear to both clients yesterday morning too.
And then back here did a little prep for the next project, and sent for the laminated plan for the men, organised some extra workers to help with the next one. Spoke to the accountant. The business made a small loss last year, £14k. That’s after my wage was paid though, which I’m paying tax on as I go along with the other employees, so actually I’m fine with a small company loss – or breaking even preferably, no tax bills to pay other than VAT which I pay quarterly. I have to pay £10k VAT in 2 weeks which I’d put aside. She said I’ve made a remarkable recovery though since then and are well into profit. That the material price increases caught me out the previous year. Yes, that was all very stressful.
I have tested clear now but Covid is still lingering in this body, a runny nose and a deep cough. Lot of sleeping and resting too. I feel very well though. I’m watching what is going on ‘out there’ with a slight sense of unease. People are catching it multiple times and it is having an effect on them. I’m feeling compassion for us all.
Meeting a friend for coffee this morning in the park and going to see the men. I’m printing and laminating the 3d visualisations for them just now.