Yesterday was wonderful. First, a long term therapy client made some important little breakthroughs. And he is now a month into the no porn behaviour experiment I suggested. What havoc porn is bringing to his and many peoples lives.
And the second client, that was just fantastic. He and his wife have been running with what he has been learning and putting it into action. Managed to spot the tendency to feel nervous and sabotage when things went well for him recently but caught themselves and didn’t sabotage. I’m so happy for him. It was exciting and upbeat and positive. Then to see a construction client. They liked my design, though the job won’t start till they have money after new year though.
Met my friend E at 2pm in the park and we had lunch, a walk and a good deep chat. A lot about the Shame course I went on. That was a little triggering for both of us I think. Bit on childhood origins. And there was a shadow as we talked of our shame, and the sense of deficiency we still carry. We talked of the healing of it too. He reckons it can’t be healed, that he has done everything for decades. I’m not so sure. There’s Eckhart and Adyashanti.
I lay in the field in the sun as we chatted for half an hour so happy to be doing that and savouring every moment. I just love that, being outside in the elements, and with a friend. Then home, very tired, almost ready to sleep at 5pm.
The ingredients of a happy day. Helping others, being with a trusted friend, some exercise, being in nature for 2 hours, dog getting a good walk, a healthy lunch. Whatever challenges are thrown up, that’s a good mainstay for resilience.
This morning I have been painting the doors and skirting boards in the house. That’s a good start. They have been needing it for ages. I have a ‘walk and talk’ client at 11am and afterwards going to see the men on site. Maybe start breaking the news in gently that some big changes may happen.
The mission is ‘savouring’. This is a method by which we get our nervous systems used to feeling safe in the face of life going well. We notice and savour every moment of grace, of ease, of happiness and joy, of love, of appreciation and gratitude, of relaxing deeply, of trusting life. Savour it. We demonstrate to the parts of us that is on edge and looking out for danger and expects struggle strife unhappiness, that during these moments we are safe. Nothing bad happens. Consciously noticing so that in time it becomes welcome and normalised. Not rejected or deemed unreliable or unsafe.
I’m savouring this moment at the kitchen table. Dog lying peacefully by the fire. I breathe into this moment. Just this one. Not a future one. I’m well, warm, comfortable, supported by life. Nothing bad is happening. It’s safe. Here and now. The refuge.