Awake in the night the worry thoughts arose and I was able to see them clearly for what they were, and they had ‘worry thought’ written all over them and I was able to drop them. It was so encouraging to just flex that muscle of noticing. To see the contrast between activating the thought by giving it attention and the anxiety that started up and the alternative of noticing and dropping and no anxiety. Just by saying ‘no thanks let’s not go there, we know where that leads’.
Now – Overcast one today. Here I sit and savouring this moment of quiet, peace, safety, comfort. There’s enough of everything needed, there’s food and light and warmth, beauty and nature inside and out the windows.
Yesterday – Still savouring yesterdays swim and meeting with my friend R. It was funny and we laughed a lot which I noticed and savoured a lot. And it was deep and we developed some thoughts and ideas.
Oh and the expectations of a relaxing massage. That did not turn out as expected, it was damn painful! And left me in so much pain I couldn’t sleep well. It’s better this morning. We had such a deep and lovely conversation and energy connection though. And then I had over 2 hours with my pal S on video chat too yesterday. An evening walk with the dog who got a full on attack by a cat.
Today – I’m off to the pool again this morning then seeing the men, then meeting my friend P for a walk at 11am. Then finalising this costing and plan and sending to the client. I’m not entirely in comfortable certainty about the next job as they haven’t accepted the price yet. But I’d say it’s likely they will go ahead.
I watched a video by this woman Nargis Algeria laying out very well how reality reflects our beliefs. It’s really good and worth a listen, 4 minutes long. And ironically when I paid for a session with her a month or so ago it was awful. She forgot about the session and had just woken up, and yawned through it, I paid for 45 mins and she finished it early after 30 mins and was so tired and not present she barely said anything useful. Aware that whatever is happening is right though and so I wondered what that says about me as reality does react out beliefs! My sense of separation? I don’t know. I put it down to experience, stop seeking from others what you already know.