Tired Monday Morning

Not a good sleep last night. Woke at 3.30 having a dream about an old boyfriend. (DY). The magnetic attraction was as intense as I have ever experienced and that woke me up.

Dreams huh? What is that all about…how do they seem so real. What does that say about our every day reality….unanswered questions.

Had some of the usual recurring anxiety provoking thoughts about the business collapsing and then listened to a guided meditation by Samaneri Jayasara which restored my attention back to open awareness, and not the content of my thoughts. Got another hour sleep after that. In an hour I have a counselling client then will go and see the men.

I’m realising part of the clash I’m experiencing with aspects of the work/business life is that I’m in a deeply receptive phase at the moment. And have been for over a year or longer. The entrepreneur business person needs to go out there and barge into the world and make things happen.

That’s just not where I’m at, and it’s just not happening as it used to. It’s an enormous effort like swimming in treacle any aspect of that type of making things happen. Going out there, wanting, grabbing, persuading, arranging, negotiating….Instead I’m in surrendering mode. Turning it all around and allowing life to unfold.

Had 2 clients yesterday, both went very well I think. And then a long session with Marc L. Just bathing in his vibrant awakened energy was pretty wonderful.

……An Hour Later – I’m amazed at how I can go from feeling flat like I did above to energised and alert when talking to counselling clients.

With those clients I get to surrender. I sit back deeply inside become silent and let it all flow through me and the right words come out.