Again feeling flushed on waking. High high energy in the night. Or is it lingering menopause! Lay in bed in and out of sleep again this morning and with little or no fear thoughts arriving or if they did, not taking hold. That was pleasant.
A Dream – I set up a YouTube channel with 5 minute tips on how to love and accept ourselves, how to be in the present moment, how to deal with anxiety, how to allow happiness in and raise our inner thermostat. With demonstrations. And even interview some people. The dream even gave me my name to use in it. Hennie. Then there was a Hennie and Hyatt.
How odd is that! It had been a bit of an inner prompting on a semi conscious level the last few weeks to do something more…put out positive messages somehow….maybe this is the way. I have never recorded myself speaking, far less a YouTube channel. Let’s see, The Force has some unusual tests up it’s sleeve!
Watched a lovely film last night Angel Eyes on Netflix, with some beautiful people in it. Both getting over trauma with each other’s help.
Yesterday. Kind of wonderful again. Surfing anxiety which came in waves from seemingly nowhere. Just the newness of change perhaps.
A new therapy client in the morning and another one in the evening for a walk and talk in the park. Wonderful powerful people outgrowing their old skins. That’s 5 weekly therapy clients and 1 fortnightly now.
And in between, a walk with some American tourists I picked up spontaneously and gave them a close encounter with the highland cows which they loved. A particular type of Americans – loads of homemade looking tattoos, pit bull owners, very bible oriented, and from A southern state with accents to go with that. Interesting!
Then lunch outside which was a bit edgy. Elsa refused to be in the cafe area due to the wasps and my friend N didn’t turn up on time. He came over here though later and was in a kind of a negative vibe though made an repeated effort, his beloved sister is very unwell. Could tell he was ready to descend into aggression at the slightest provocation. We were talking about dealing with noise irritations and he is wavering between justification and facing it fully.
And he catches himself constantly. He knows the other way to be and can do it. Just wavering willingness. He did a little bit actually. I just kept trucking and sung my own note. It was an exhausting amount of mundane detail he came out with though. I had to leave and get outside and end our encounter.
A full day. And got a couple of visits in to see the guys at both jobs too and do some business admin. I don’t have enough work for the whole team at the moment so 2 are at my allotment today putting up trellis and making a raised bed to replace the hedge that was removed. Going there shortly to see them.