I had a fun walk and chat with R, a relatively new therapist friend. Really deep with much open honest disclosure. Love that sort of conversation.
She was from a relatively poor background who sought out and let a lot of wealth and success into her life early in her career. And she shared the story of her journey of giving that corporate job up. The challenge of letting go of that wealth and security. She left with only one therapy client and built up her practice and made a more satisfying and meaningful life.
I wonder if one comes from a relatively unhappy early family life, it then causes us to look for the alternative for happiness. She went for wealth and I went for the opposite.
Goals and ambition in that material sense, I steer away from. I don’t want to peg a sense of security in money in the bank. Maybe I’ve gone too far the other way. I don’t know.
I am learning instead to want whatever is happening though- as if I chose it.
All of what is happening. To have goals suggests a rejection of what is happening. Wanting what is happening is trusting life to provide exactly what I need to learn and grow.
If life got even more happy and abundant and lucky and good things started happening more frequently…would I let it all in? Course I would, yes.
I just don’t want to grab for it. I want whatever is here already, what unfolds naturally.
It’s a beautiful day and the sun is shining. I’ve just paid the men. Last day of the big project, and new small one starting on Monday for 3 weeks. Got a 3rd design to do as of a couple of days ago so work is coming in and being progressed. It’s all going well. Nothing planned for today other than a walk.