A few hours later and I’m feeling so different. Mildly joyful and even singing in the pouring rain. The energy shifted after having a session with a therapy client. The contrast is so evident. That fear and anxiety, it’s nearly not here right now. I know there’s something I maybe ‘should’ be worried about….and it’s not taking hold. I wonder if it’s partly because I dived into and felt it fully too. And also partly because therapy is perhaps what I’m happy to be doing. Happier doing that than the business stuff.
I need to sleep on this and ponder it fully. What if all this procrastination and the business related anxiety is because it’s time to let go. I can’t though I have a mortgage to pay! The little ‘sensible’ voice says. Maybe I just need to make a sort of a sketch of a plan so that I see my way forward.
Well my old pal J arrived with his 18 month old grandson. And that was swell. Then we went to my allotment garden and the kid had such fun, and I planted my new shrubs. It poured and we sat in the hut and also under the big canopy we put out.
Then to the big house and a walk over the bridge up the river. So wet and such fun! Elements. Water after such a long dry spell. The river was fresh again.
The people upstairs were making loud noises just there and it didn’t even touch any reactiveness in me! Woo how. I feel great about that. When I hear it, it’s just a sound. Doesn’t mean anything. That is welcome progress with equanimity.