Stillness and Flux


The changing dynamic appearances and arisings of life emerge spontaneously within an alive field of open vibrant spaciousness. If there are unaddressed unconscious contractions inside – there’s a reactiveness to whatever the dynamic display/arising is at that moment and it then grabs attention which then fixates and narrows instead of remaining aware it is the stillness and dynamic flux. It gets captured temporarily till said contraction/reaction is freed and released.

Calm continues which I note with some interest despite a selection of circumstances which might otherwise cause stress and worry. The client didn’t even pay us last night as usual and I’m not even concerned. There’s enough to pay what’s needed right now and I have just paid all the men.

The Gayatri prayer mantra continues, as does breathing from low low down, and listening to nonduality speakers. I’ve been experimenting with this calm and even reading some news material and noticing it’s not creating stress as it might normally. Gosh, we are our own experiment and stuff material huh!

I’m accessing the transcendent right now which always restores a sense of home and safe, and balance inside. That part of us that doesn’t get moved around by outer events, that is completely still and at ease with constant flux and change.

I think being a bit busier this week has helped me a lot, both with clients, the men and the allotment. Keeps the tendency to ruminate away.

I met a friend R yesterday in the park for a walk, and it was great. She is feisty confident and has a strong spiritual devotional side which I love. On more of a Christian wavelength but I can talk about prayer, devotion god and love with her which widens our topics. I feel freer than having to cut out that side as I do with some people.

Told her about me going on match dating site and she was so interested I shared the couple of characters I had been interacting with recently there. She liked one and pretty much forced me to arrange a date right there and then which I did! Omg. So meeting him on Tuesday. I really appreciated having the experienced female backup, as I am scared as I don’t trust the wisdom of my taste in men.

Then presented a little design to a client round the corner and they liked it and I mentioned we could start in a couple,of weeks and they were fine with that if the cost is agreeable. That’s good.

I noticed an apartment actually in the park has come up for sale so I’ve arranged a valuation of this flat. I’ve had my eye on these park ones for a while and they are smart enough to run a therapy practice from too. Here is sort of okay for that lot of housing association flats around me, so it’s a bit of a scruffy outside as the grounds are managed by the council. It’s a bit of a stretch financially but thought I’d play with the possibilities and see what I’d get for this place.

I was at the allotment later on around 7pm and did some more work on the pond, starting to plant up around the edges and today I will collect some pond weed from an established pond to kick start the invertebrate and plant ecosystem.

Today I have a new potential lovely sounding client to visit early, then meeting P in the park with the dogs for a walk and coffee. And it’s Friday already.

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