Lake District

Been trying to post for a couple of days but been swept back into activity having been away for a few days in the Lake District.

The great side of having a family and friends. Big reminder. Fun, laughter, connection, communication, love, care, cooperation, interaction, community. What a treat the trip was. And what’s missing from my life in this near hermit like life I lead. This was made apparent.

Had a relaxed and fun time in the quiet of the beautiful countryside in a large house with the family and a couple of friends. Everyone relaxing, catching up, walking, visiting the local village pub, having a bbq. Sunny too.

Didn’t feel anxious at all. There were discussions about me making an exit plan with the business. And also some hot topics discussions on sex vs gender with varied opinions. And some good Meyers Briggs self enquiry all round which was fun.

And we found a 14th century church and surprisingly it was open at night and we explored….and my son T read out some of the bible. Pretty atmospheric. We aren’t into the bible much at all but we didn’t do it disrespectfully!

Overall what a heart warming taste of community and connection.

Back here last night a few hours sleep then a 3am trip to drop T off for his flight. Sad to see him go. Really low. Have loved his company. And when he is struggling inside so much, the idea of him alone in Lisbon. We had honest discussions about at, and covid lockdown measures really wrecked his life, the social life he had built up the community, his friends all went home and now he is nearly alone. As a mother it’s hard to see your child suffer. Or anyone you care about of course.

I’m not in a greatly jolly space myself. I’ve been surrounded by a relatively normal social life these last few days, and even 10 days including T being here as his worldview has been an added colour to life here. My sister and friend both have close partners and I saw what I was missing there. So went on Match to see who is about and available! Let’s see what happens there. I notice how afraid I am with that prospect.

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