Not much to say unusually. I had an old friend staying here for 4 days. We have known each other since primary school and have an enjoyable ease and familiarity, though little in common which is fine. She was having a respite holiday from looking after her mum. I felt very relaxed during and after it, having her company around felt good.
The last couple of days have almost entirely been focused on dropping into the body and feeling the sensations of the emotions there. Allowing them and giving them space to be there. It’s really the only practice I need at the moment. It is the very opposite of ‘this shouldn’t be here’, which is the real cause of much of the suffering.
That and mindfulness. Even walking through the trees at 8pm last night I noticed the temptation to live in the thoughts, and had to keep consciously coming back to the physical senses again.
I wonder if I have spent much of my life in some sort of mental seizure, captured by the mental world of thoughts. I’ve noticed it a lot recently when I feel that sense of seizure mentally. I’m pretty sure that the excessive thinking that plagues most of us is a protection mechanism. The brain thinks when it perceives a problem or threat. Instead we could just feel the feelings fully moment to moment.
Since practising dropping into the holiday sensations of emotions I feel a lot more relaxed. And also less afraid of painful emotions. It’s not as scary I imagined. Both this and mindfulness are gentle routes back to the here and now, where I’m being led to.
Lot to be grateful for.