The Struggles of Friends


It has been rather a strange day, some heaviness, and perhaps a bit of a psychic hangover from yesterday. I do sometimes have delayed reactions. In the morning I saw the new client and think I got the project, quite a big one planned for a year’s time. That’s good. My friend W called and so I went to see her and we walked in the woods near her house slowly and lingering and chatting. Then for home made everything for lunch, soup, scones and jam.

I have a lot of love for her, and she has been such a benign influence for over 40 years. She is the mum of my old close pal P from school days. But. It was a lot of heaviness. People find it easy to open up to me so they do and they share their past hurts, sorrows and internal and family struggles. And when I got back here I had to lie down on the sofa and shut my eyes for nearly 2 hours.

Then a call with another friend S, mostly about her mum with dementia which was also heavy and sad. And I told her about my drama, also a heavy. Heavy day! Some days are just like this. I didn’t go round to see the guys on site or get any work done so feel a little guilt about that. It’s actually pretty much a miracle normal working life isn’t falling apart as I go through these changes which take me out for long periods at a time. I really only have short bursts of activity recently.

The therapeutic relationship isn’t like that, the dynamic is different and it is much more more interactive. It’s a different agreement. With friends I have a more passive kind of listening role. And I notice it is exhausting. I need to look after myself and watch out for this.

Popped up to the allotment garden and sorted the bird food and didn’t stay long as the rain started. Been a very wet May.

2 Comments

  1. i’ve known quite a few people who are empathic to a degree in which it became harmful to them as an individual. I know personally how it can overwhelm and exhaust someone. I learned the hard way that i have to pull back when i start to feel this. I dont consider myself an empath, but at times i have allowed myself to take on more than i should…try to rest up and be at peace for a bit
    …HUGS!

    Liked by 1 person

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