Airy Fairyland

Quite enjoyed the MRI scan, even all the loud strange sounds. An hour of imposed meditation. And to be in the hands of others was interesting. In their world. They gave me some sort of head worn item which had mirrors in it which allowed me to see outside. Wow, humans are so thoughtful and kind.

I was told to put on a paper mask open all round the edges to walk from the changing room 10m across an empty corridor. I said no but they insisted and I just went with it. I’m in their world. No point in asking how it could possibly make sense. The paper mask was huge, loose, open, so I’m breathing air in and out from and into the surroundings as I would be without wearing it. It felt like some weird throwback to times of medieval beliefs we now see were silly. Some protocol rule in use I imagine that they don’t or can’t question and keep their jobs. I can see how it is hard to be with one’s own truth and live within society. I’ve got it relatively easy in that respect.

I am still feeling odd in general. Even physically odd, temperature has been up for around a week, most of the time tired and flushed cheeks. I’m putting it down to internal shifts and consciousness related.

I can barely take in any more deep spiritual material just now – reading it or listening. No room for it. There’s enough going on inside settling in. The map of the world is adjusting, and that is an intensive process at times. This short video spoke to me this morning though – so loving and reassuring and concise and wise from Matt Garrett.

Had an extra evening walk last night up the river. Sat on the riverbank for a while in the sun. Then home to have a curry from a restaurant which I barely ate. Like almost all other foods, they do not satisfy at all.

Funny watching how I keep going back to the same things to try and get the old familiar feeling of satisfaction that is to be found no more. Like I have to keep showing myself it isn’t there now. Not in favourite comfort foods, or even my beloved tea, not in alcohol. From consuming, I can’t get no satisfaction 😂 It’s simply wide open space now, within which is fluctuating shining temporary display of phenomenon. And this “I” is moving through it all, part of it yet not. One field of energy meeting other fields of energy, neither separate. Very airy fairyland it is.

I’m going shortly to present a new design to a client, then meeting M for a walk in a beloved woodland a short drive away. Some things do bring satisfaction, depth of company and natural beauty. The dog. Bed and sleep. Reading or listening to Dzogchen or Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer.

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