May Day public holiday so the whole team is off. A beautiful atmosphere comes over the city on these public holidays. Everyone gets an extra day of freedom, and the air is relaxed, the traffic quiet.
Bit more social yesterday, I visited the lovely uncle just out of hospital, and his fiancée. Then my mum. It was all fine. Wow to what normal people talk about. I can join in, though it’s like playing some part in a play.
Went to the allotment in the end and planted some peas. Got a beautiful apology from the allotment secretary who was a bit off with me the other day. That was really nice.
This mind is busy with small things today. And I note for the record that it does not feel very good. Trying to understand why I’ve been not doing some design work that clients are waiting for. I’ve ended up in the park instead or visiting the men or finding other things to do. I do not know what this resistance is, but I’d like to dig a bit. I have become used to just trusting whatever is happening these days and accepting the consequences. Even if that means clients getting impatient. I don’t know what’s going on.
Lot of inner changes can take shape in the outer life. I’ve got to remember the momentous shifts going on inside. And be grateful that my life hasn’t seemed to fall apart at all as I feared, in fact quite the opposite. Yes there have been changes, most have been organic and gradual though.
Just back from a magnificent walk at a site of special scientific interest nearby where I spent a lot of my youth. Sat on a rock in the middle of the river for ages. Also went across the city to get photos for a phase 2 of a project we did a few years ago.
Energy levels are all over – climbing up steep hills to on the sofa procrastinating watching a video by a father and son team on what to do about procrastinating! Very gentle knowledgable psychologists.
Later- must have worked as I actually completed the design in a couple of hours. Then cleared out an IKEA unit I’m giving away. Lot lot lot of stale energy in those shelves – over a dozen years of tedious business paperwork and files I can now free myself of. Plus I’m determined not to have any cheap and nasty furniture in my house. So that’s going and also the IKEA desk and office chair. Gosh I love getting rid of stuff I don’t use or need.
“And the deeper secret of the secret. The land that is nowhere, that is your true home.”