Head doesn’t get It

And that doesn’t mean non-duality isn’t worth exploring though!

Angelo DiLullo posted an interesting video recently though very puzzling to me too, as I don’t get it experimentally. My head really does not get around this stuff at all and yet I can feel into it at times.

I’m having trouble with feeling non separation with some elements in the environment, specifically it seems when indoors with man made things. I can sometimes feel no separation with works of art or something beautiful, but this iPad, the table, the pile of papers in front of me, nope.

In nature out on walks I seem to blend seamlessly with it all and have done so for as long as I remember. (unless I’m worried about something and thoughts take me away from being present).

Outside I feel it almost in the cells what I see, smell, hear….the movements, shapes colours all seems like inside my body and myself expanded and out to include it all. It applies to seeing the flow of water in a stream, a decaying bit of wood, seeing the movement of the wind in a tree, a leaf falling, a bird sound, a rock, bark texture, anything pretty much ‘natural’ I experience it as me physically throughout the body. I dont look for it it just happens and it also does with people too, though not all the time as I can get triggered into self referential thought by people at times and feel separate from that. Often it’s pretty seamless love and embracement though.

And yet when I tried what Angelo described using the door in front of me this morning, nope, it’s a door over there 8 feet away and proved by the fact there that it requires me to get out of bed to go and open it. I can’t access blending with it. I’m the door and the door is me, I’m not experiencing as I can’t access it in a direct felt sense.

I suppose I’m wondering where I’m at too, and why with some things and not others. I’ve posted this to a group on Awakening online to see what they say.

So I know what non separation is and how it feels and yet I bounce back and forth. I’m curious about blipping though to it full time and what that might be like!

Painting by Jill Soukup (from current exhibition Gallery 1261, Denver)

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