Ego Games

Sunshine outside, and listening to Nisargadatta being read, and it is sublime. This one will be on repeat over and over. And well beyond my mind’s capacity to grasp but something in here can access it and bathe in a sense of home.

“Love all of it or none of it and stop complaining” brilliant!

‘You are love-longing for the love-worthy, the perfect lovable. Due to ignorance you are looking for it in the world of opposites and contradictions’.

A whole Sunday ahead. I was just wondering what will happen next when a text arrived asking when I’ll be at the allotment by someone I know. That’s a good idea! So that’s what is happening in a while.

It’s time to write another list.

This time it’s how the ego directs to separate by establishing imaginary superiority to others. And how it generally indulges in ‘othering’.

  • Number one big one is criticising people. Hostile thoughts and negative judgements appear. About everyone, friends and family, complete strangers. Mostly in private.
  • Correcting people’s grammar, out loud or in my head. Or adding a clever bit to what they are saying.
  • Thinking of myself as a deeper thinker than others, have better ‘taste’ am wiser, more intelligent, more generous than others.
  • Choosing people who aren’t ‘successful’ to hang out with and/or are working class so I can feel superior as somewhat ‘successful’ middle class. I dont exactly know about that as a motive, I also tend to not choose materially ambitious people to be around as I’m not like that and find materially successful people who have devoted their lives to that kind of security usually uninteresting. I tend to prefer those who feel they don’t belong in society, the drop outs and fringe dwellers, artists, and it’s maybe just sheer good luck I have found a niche.
  • The above if it’s truly a superiority motive, might even apply to where I live, a relatively working class area and in a much bigger apartment than those around me. So I get to feel that I’m a higher status? Maybe. Though I only bought my flat because it was so inexpensive for the size, had good parking and is across the road from a country park. But still, suspiciously similar theme along the same lines.
  • Having strong likes and dislikes about anything to try and build up a sense of a super duper unique identity that I’m proud of – it’s specialness in particular
  • Telling people of achievements to impress them

To be continued

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